xt712j686428 https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt712j686428/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 2000-11-17 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers  English   Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel  The Kentucky Kernel, November 17, 2000 text The Kentucky Kernel, November 17, 2000 2000 2000-11-17 2020 true xt712j686428 section xt712j686428 Computers

Pleas You's
Spell
Cheque!

Sometimes we trust
computers whole-
heartedly and
shouldn’t. Case in
point is this poem
that has not one
misspelling!

I have a spelling checker

It came with my PC

It plane lee marks four
my revue

Miss steaks aye can knot
see

Eye ran this poem threw
it

Your sure real glad two
no

Its very polished in its
weigh

My checker tolled me
sew

A checker is a blessing

It freeze yew lodes of
thyme

It helps me right awi
stiles two reed

And aides me when aye
rime

Each frays comes posed
up on my screen

Eye trussed too bee a
joule

The checker pours o’er

PRIDAYKENTUCKY

KERNEL

Get cultured

Praised film
from India
screened at
, UK this
weekend l3

 

iLECIlQNJQOD.

Who will it be? Overseas ballots must be in by midnight on Friday; UK
professor discusses the state of the election, previous panel predictions

By Lamin Swann
ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

While Al Gore fights to keep
recounting ballots in Democrati‘
ic Florida counties, UK profes-
sor Penny Miller fights to keep
her mind focused on the results
of what she says is an election to
learn from.

“I've hardly focused on any-
thing else." said Miller, an asso-
ciate professor of political sci—
ence at UK. “I‘m consumed with
the election." she said.

She's not the only one.

Gore and Bush are con-
sumed with the results. too.
Whoever wins Florida’s 25 elec-
toral votes will become the 43rd
president of the United States.

every word
To cheque sum spelling
rule

Bee fore a veiling
checkers

Hour spelling mite
dechne

And if we're laks oar
have a laps

We wood bee maid too
wine

Butt now bee cause my
spelling

Is checked with such
grate flare

There are know faults
with in my cite

0f nun eye am a wear

Now spelling does not
phase me

it does knot bring a tier

My pay purrs awl due
glad den

With wrapped words fare
as hear

To rite with care is quite
a feet

0f witch won should be
proud

And wee mussed dew
the best wee can

Sew flaws are knot aloud

Sow ewe can sea why
aye dew prays

Such soft wear four pea
seas,

And why eye brake in
two averse

Buy righting want too
please

-Complled by: Ron

Norton

-Source:
http://www.funnies.
paco.to/pcPoem.html

rail_editor@hotmail.com

Thanksgiving break is
only a few days
away. But that's no
reason to forget
about the rail editor.
if anything funny or
exciting happens to
you over the break
e-mail and let me
know. Who knows, it
could make a good
piece for LDC. Please
include your year and
major.

Tomorrow’s
weather

m
3.9 2.6

Does it seem like this
cold weather came out
of nowhere? Make sure
to bundle up.

Kentucky

Kernel

VOL #106 ISSUE 3860

ESTABLISHED iN 1892
INDEPENDENT SINCE 1971

News tips!
Call: 257-1915 or write:

 

Texas Gov. George W. Bush
held a 300‘vote lead Thursday in
Florida.

A lead that three UK politi-
cal science professors predicted
before the election in a panel
that debated who would win.
Two other professors predicted
Gore would win. Miller was one
of the professors who chose
Gore. She predicted that Al Gore
would win the Electoral College
and George W. Bush would win
the popular vote.

But it hasn‘t worked out that
way. Polls show that Gore is
leading in the popular vote.

"I never imagined the oppo-
site happening." Miller said.

Miller wasn’t the only pro-
fessor surprised by the election

outcome.

Assistant Professor Stephen
Voss. who was also a panelist.
gave a correct prediction on
which states would carry Gore
or Bush except for three states:
Pennsylvania. Iowa and Ten-
nessee.

“I thought Gore would have
his home state (of Tennessee),"
Voss said.

Many voters are anxious for
the recounts to stop and a presi-
dent to be named. Katherine
Harris. Republican secretary of
state in Florida. promised
Thursday to certify the race by
Saturday. Harris" weekend dead-
line says that all overseas absen-

See RACE on 2

ASSOCIATED PRESS
You can ca t a
Vice President Al Gore stands with his running mate Joseph Lieberman as he

makes a statement from Washington on Wednesday regarding the Florida
recount controversy.

 

Eats bounce back

{so in no.

Junior forward
Tayshaun Prince puts
one up for the Cats in
Thursday night's
exhibition game
against Athletes in
Action. Prince scored
19 points for» the
team. The Cats play
Jacksonville State at
a p.m. Tuesday in
Cincinnati.

iacktoutcsk 1 M10 [once

Cats win 94-84: UK came back from disappointing New York weekend
and defeated Athletes inAction at Thursday night's exhibition game

By lea Cox
STAFF WRITER

Putting the two losses in New
York behind them. the Kentucky
Wildcats took care of Athletes in
Action 94-84, last night at Rupp
Arena.

The win over AIA makes the
Cats 2-0 in exhibition play, and
they will resume regular season
play on Nov. 21 when they take
on Jacksonville State in Cincin
nati.

“I like where we are right
now.” UK guard Keith Bogans
said. “We're 02 right now. we’re
working and we are going to con-
tinue to work so things have to
get better."

AIA started out of the blocks.
hitting two straight threepoint-
ers and taking an early 6—0 lead.

They would stretch that lead to
only seven. going up 13-6 with
14:35 left in the first half.

But that would be the largest
lead they would hold. The Cats
would go on a 166 run, highlight-
ed by two threes from both Saul
Smith and Keith Bogans.

The run allowed the Cats to
take a six-point lead, a lead they
held until the end of the game.

The Cats stretched it to 21
with 8:47 remaining in the game
when freshman Gerald Fitch
nailed a three from the left side.
making the score 7453.

AIA made a small comeback.
and cut the lead to nine. but the
Cats held on for the 10 point win.

The team shot 50 percent
from the field, and 44.4 percent
from behind the arc.

The trouble from the line

continued. They missed 19 free
throws.

The Cats had four players in
double figures in the game. with
Bogans leading with 24. followed
by Tayshaun Prince with 19 and a
team high 9 rebounds. Saul Smith
and freshmen Cliff Hawkins each
contributed 12.

Fitch and fellow freshman
Eric Daniels. came off the bench
and gave head coach Tubby
Smith quality minutes. These two
lead the team in assists with four
apiece.

The 6‘3" Fitch. who played 22
minutes. also picked up eight re
bounds. four from the offensive
end.

“He‘s a very aggressive play-
er." Tubby Smith said. "He really
sticks his nose in there he’s going
to get a lot of quality minutes."

EMELQXMENI

Education put
on the UPSwing

I

 

By Ashley York
ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

l’nited Parcel Service jUst
made education easier for their
employtxs

Program officials of UPS.
along with Lexington Mayor
Pam Miller. officially imple-
menth a partnership Thurs-
day among UPS and three local
colleges that will enable UPS
employees to take college
courses at work through the
Delivering College at Work pro-
gram.

Chuck Howson. a lfPS Lex-
ington recruiter. said that
along with l.(‘(_‘. Midway Col-
lege and Kentucky Central
Technical College. they hope to
increase thcir already existing
45 percent of students. classi
fied as full-time workers at the
Lexington l‘PS headquarters.
to 60 percent by providing them
the facilities to obtain onsite
college credit.

"We're making it as easy
as we can to educate as many
people as possible." Howson
said.

The distance learning pro-
gram will work like any other
off campus course. The employ-
ees. or prospective students.
will apply to the college. and
will register through that col“
lege to take courses at the off
campus site located at UPS on
Mercer Road. he said.

“With time being as pre»
cious as it is. we want workers
to be able to come to work then

go to class and not even have to
leave the site." Iliiwsoii said.

Rachel {\lullins. a psycholo-
gy junior and part-time super
visor at l'l’S. said the program
will benefit the workers who
don't have access to personal
transportation and want to at»
tend classes.

“It's right there." she said.
"Not only can they take the
bus to work. but they can go to
school. too.“

Howson said the schedule
of classes hasn't been deter
mined at this point because
they are unsure of how many
students will enroll. However.
they are still working to con-
dense schedules. as well as to
manage them around the em
ployee's work schedules.

The classes will follow a 10
week schedule that meets twice
a week for an hour and a half.

“We‘re really optimistic we
can make this work."
llowsoii said.

Workhard

If interested in applying at
UPS call 1-888-WORK-UPS or see
htth/wwwupsiobs.
com
For enrollment information
contact your prospective college.

~LCC: http://www.uky.edu/LCC

~Midway College:
http‘J/wwwmidwayedu

oilentucky Central Technical
College: 246-2400 ext. 2230

 

W

Students say thanks

Matthew London

CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Agriculture, majors will
have an oppoiiunity Saturday
to thank those who made ap-
proximately 3323000 in scholar
ships possible.

It is the largest event of its
type on campus where students
can meet the people who made
their scholaiships possible. said
Joe T. Davis associate (lean for
instruction.

The College of Agriculture
will host the 2000 Scholarship
Banquet Saturday evening at
the Griffin Gate Marriott Resort
on Newtown Pike Attendance
is expected to reach 750 at the
10th annual event.

The program will include a
keynote address fmm state Rep.
Stan Cave. an agricultural eco-
nomics graduate of the (‘ollegc
of Agriculture and scholarship
recipient, ()ther speakers will

represent donors. students. fac
ulty and parents.

“It‘s a celebration of excels
lence." Davis said.

This year the college has
100 scholarship donors and will
be represented by :30 donors at
this weekend's banquet. l'K
President (‘harlcs Wethington.
Chancellor Elisabeth Zinser
and Dean Oran Little of the (‘ol
lege of Agriculture will attend.

“It takes a lot oftime and ef-
fort to put the scholarship ban-
quet together but the rewards
make it all the worthwhile."
said Susan Skees. director of
academic services and event co
ordinator.

Lennie Batchelor. an ani-
mal sciences and agriculture
communications senior will be
joined by her parents at her
fourth scholarship banquet.

“It is really the only time
we get to say thanks face to
face" she said.

 

 

kernel@pop.uky.edu

The Student Newspaper at th University of Kentucky, Lexington

 

 

 

 

  

2 I FRIDAY. NOVEMBER I7. 2000 I nmucnvnsnnn

The Low-down

I look
back at
old
footage of
the
Beatles
getting off
the planes
at the air-
port and
having all
the fans
there...
that is a
cool
vision in
my head."

- Kevin
Richardson, 29.
Backstreet Boy,

to Reuters in
Stockholm,
where he's
about to embark
on a 26,000-mile
promotional tour
with his band-
mates.

Court: Vote recounts allowed

TALLAHASSEE. Fla. 7- Al Gore won a fight
today to quicken the pace of manual recounts in
his elfort to overtake George W. Bush‘ BOO-vote
lead before Florida‘s secretary of state certifies
the marathon White House race Saturday. GOP
lawyers had asked courts to stop the counting
and the disintegration" of the presidential elec-
tion system. The Florida Supreme Court handed
(lore a modest victory, giving authorities in
Palm Beach and Broward counties permission to
recount ballots by hand. The ruling did not say
whether any votes found in the recount can be
added to Gore‘s totals the heart of the legal
clash.

Palm Beach. Broward count votes

TALLAHASSEE. Fla. , Within minutes ofa
Florida‘s high court giving the go-ahead to manu-
al ballot recounts in the state‘s disputed presi-
dential election. officials in Palm Beach County
announced they would swiftly begin counting. A
recount was underway in Broward County. Com~
bined. the two counties account for 1 million of
the states 6 million votes. The ruling is a victory
for Al Gore. but does not settle whether the re-
counts may ultimately help his attempt to poll
ahead of Bush in the state vote count. George W.
Bush has a BOO-vote lead. with about 2,600 over-
seas absentee ballots uncounted.

Civil Rights leader Williams dies

ATLANTA , Hosea Williams. a top lieu-
tenant to Martin Luther King Jr. who battled for
civil rights for more than three decades after
King‘s death. died of cancer today at the age of 74.
Despite being diagnosed with prostate cancer in
1997. Williams never lost the combative spirit
that boosted him from the obscurity of a govern-
ment agricultural Chemist's job in Savannah to
the from of the civil rights fray of the 19605.
Williams served in the Georgia Legislature. on
the Atlanta City Council and on the DeKalb
County Commission before retiring from politics
in 1994.

Jet CoIlides With Florida Plane

SARASOTA. Fla. ~ An Air Force F-lb‘ fighter
jet collided with a small plane today and crashed
into flames. One person aboard the small plane
was killed. while the military pilot parachuted to
safety and walked to someones house to use the
phone. Parts of the small plane. a Cessna. landed
on a golf course. The wreckage of the military jet

HONORED:
Iturt Vonnegut
has been named
the State
Author for New
York.
VonnOOIIt. best
known for his
I969 novel

‘ ‘Slaughter-
house Five,"
has written
more than two
dozen books.
Vonnegut has
spent much of
his life In
upstate New
York. He
graduated from
Cornell
University In
Ithaca In 1944
and later lived
In the village of
Alplaus, where
he worked for
General
Electric.

ROLLING
STONE:

For sale: swim-
ming pool tiles,
slightly used,
place In rock
Infamy.

The Brian Jones
Fan Club Is sell-
ing tiles from
the pool where
the charismatic
Rolling Stones
guitarist was
found dead on
July 3,

1969.

started a fire in the woods a few miles away. No
injuries were reported on the ground.

Crowds welcome Clinton to Vietnam

HANOI, Vietnam v Thousands and thou-
sands of people gathered in clusters along the
route taking President Clinton from Hanoi’s in-
ternational airport just before midnight in what
was believed to be the largest turnout ever for a
foreign head of state. Hanoi isn’t known as a late-
night city, with traffic virtually vanishing after
about 10 pm. on weekdays. But the crowd 4— the
vast majority under age 30, which means they
would have no memories of the Vietnam War
that ended in 1975 —- started assembling at 9 pm.
outside the Daewoo Hotel. where Clinton
is staying.

Board selects new Internet names

MARINA DEL REY, Calif. — The Internet
got its first new batch of international domain
names today with the selection of .biz. .name and
five other suffixes that will enable a lot more web
site variety. The Internet Corporation for As-
signed Names and Numbers approved .info for
general use, .biz for businesses, .name for indi-
viduals, .pro for professionals, .museum for mu-
seums, .coop for business cooperatives and .aero
for the aviation industry. The new suffixes,
which could appear in use by mid-2001, are de-
signed as alternatives to .com, a crowded suffix
with some 20 million registrations.

Dow ends down 52, Nasdag falls 134

NEW YORK ~ Stymied by concerns about
interest rates and earnings, investors sold stocks
lower today, focusing once again on technology
issues. Investors were still shaken by the re-
newed prospect of higher interest rates that
would further cut into corporate earnings. The
Nasdaq composite index fell 133.61 to close at
3,031.88, according to preliminary calculations.
The Dow Jones industrial average finished down
51.57 at 10,656.03.

Yanks, O'Neill finalize $6.5M deal

NEW YORK — After contemplating retire-
ment late this season, Paul O‘Neill instead will
play one final year, signing a $6.5 million con-
tract with the Yankees on today. O'Neill has been
one of the primary pieces of the Yankees‘ World
Series run. since coming over in a trade from
Cincinnati after the 1992 season. He has hit .309
for the Yankees and manager Joe Torre calls him
the ”heart and soul" of the team that has won
four World Series titles in the last five years.

Compiled from wire reports.

 

-
RAGE

Continued from page I

George “the animal”

Republican presidential candidate Texas Gov. George W. Bush con-
cludes his live television remarks from the governor's mansion

Wednesday night.

tee ballots are due Friday at
midnight. There are about
2,600 overseas ballots that are
outstanding. Both sides be-
lieve a majority of the over-
seas ballots will go to Bush.

Bush supports the dead-
line.

“Once these votes are
counted, we will know the fi-
nal result of Florida's elec-
tion and the nation's elec-
tion," Bush campaign chair-
man Don Evans said.

But the roller coaster
ride of an election has been
an enjoyable and educational
experience for Miller and her
students.

Miller said her students
are in tune to the election
coverage, and through dia‘
logue she can see their party
affiliation.

"Today. more students
live and breath politics than
ever before.“ Miller said.

Miller. a supporter of the
current political system, vis-
ited Milwaukee, Wis.. days
before the election. Miller
worked to get people to vote.

“I did phone banks and
also handed out neighbor-
hood leaflets in areas where
the unions and black votes
are strong." Miller said.

Miller said she supports
the recounts in Florida
because it shows voters that
the Electoral College is not
the only vote needed in a pres-
idential election.

“It‘s a demonstration of
every votes counts." she said.

The Associated Press
contributed to this story.

 

 

Suspects

arrested

UK Police made two arrests Wednesday night related to the robberies
that have occurred on campus. The investigation continues with other
arrests pending. If you have any information call UK Police at 257-1616.

 

 

READ THE
\CEKNEL
0K WE’LL
SHOOT
THE KID

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A admission includes all-
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252-4899

 

 

 

Clothing ~ Furniture —Pottcr_\ ~ Zapotec Rugs - .lc\\c|I'_\ — Shawls

 

Fall into our
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1 8 2

Pool .
Fitness ‘ 3
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Fire Plac‘ég, W,

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266-0801

fled—idfa/
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A Cultural Shopping Experience
We proudly invite the public to our
photography exhibit by Tibor Szlavic featuring
landscapingfrom Kentucky and the U.S.A.

372 Southland Dr. 859-277-7399 Mon-Fri 10-7 Sat 10-5

 

 

V 5 . Liniiged
CALL NOW! pang “ummer
(253-2039) ““9

Available g
UNIVERSITY l

Paper Machc. (‘craniic anti Nttlivilics

 

Cpuams Calendar

October 30 - November 5, 2000

The (ompus (ulendor vs produted by the Ollite at Student ActiVities Registered Student Gigs. and UK Depts ran submit information lor FREE online ONE WEE l

PRIOR to the MONDAY information is to appear at hftp://www.uky.odu/(ompvs Colondor
MEETiNGS sat 1 8
SPOUS

(0" 257-8067 for more information
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Tim Staley
Scene Editor
Phone: 251-1915 | E-mail: kernelartOyahooxom

Scene

 

MI“ I FRIDAY. NOVEMBER 17. 2000 I 3

 

M11511

Band makes the move and
attempts to break through

So far away: Power pop band Chester relocates from Louisville to
Lexington and tries to establish their act and their music

By Charlie Bradley

STAFF WRITER

What do you get when you
combine sugary sweet pop
melodies with raw emotion? If
you guessed “A Chapel Hill
Band" you were close. The an-
swer. of course. is Lexington‘s
own Chester.

Originally from Louisville.
four-fifths of the band has
moved to Lexington to attend
UK and LCC. Since coming to
town Chester has gotten peo-
ple's attention as Lexington's
best pop band (not Britney
Spears type pop, Superchunk
pop). It was to gain this type of
attention that Chester started

playing here and not
Louisville.

“We've all been playing to-
gether since we were about 13.
When you‘re that young you
have trouble getting shows. or
any kind of respect in general."
said singer and guitarist Brett
Wolf. “We've only begun to be
able to play more than four or
five shows a year since we're in
Lexington now. It was a lot
harder in Louisville."

Chester has come a long
way since starting up in about
1993. They've had three different
lineups (although the current
one has been the same for five
years). released four albums and
played innumerable shows.

"The people who have prob
ably helped us out the most by
setting up shows have been Ross
Compton and Mark Savage from
Yat‘s.“ said bassist Stephen 0s-
borne. "They obviously helped
us by setting shows up there.
but Ross is also helping us get
shows other places."

However. now that Yat's is
closed indefinitely. (‘hester is
faced with a new problem Lex-
ington has been good to the
band. but they've only really
played at Yat‘s. Osborne is con-
fident that Yat's demise is not
the end of Chester in Lexington.

“I kind of feel like now we
could play anywhere." he said.
"All we‘ve got to do is actually

make the effort to do it."

The efforts to get out ap-
pear to be coming in the form of
a tour planned for next sum-
mer. Though there are no set
dates. Wolf said that the band
plans to be touring around the
East Coast and the Midwest.

“This is the first time we‘ve
ever really tried to plan a tour."
he said

For the time being though.
(‘hester is going to stay right
here. and continue to give pop-
rock fans in Lexington some-
thing to be happy about.

“We‘re probably going to
just try and find some different
places to play around here and
wait until Yat's opens back up."
said lead singer and guitarist
Kevin Kraus. “The ultimate
goal is to get out of Kentucky.
and here is as good a place as
any to work toward that."

 

 

 
   

“we, 1.

V .9‘.""“.:?‘“ if .A a,
In the Spirit of Giving
You Could Be Receiving

 

m. t.” win . .- m m
'Tlr »A1Y\tilih «"'.a' stir“ wt '». -. ‘V 'u‘ MI' .dNts \ sa
“uniltflmltvttsi-guiinitm w. i... ,_. .. .
mum ”Aws .
in m- , '5 -
2500 Nicholasvme Rd. . H- t -‘ 'J » ‘
278-6660

 

Hours: Murl' Hits-Sat lite-sq 1.‘

 

.; see hit.

The Guignol Theatre, located in the
Fine Arts Building, ls being reno-
vated. The theatre's tacilitias are
currently being updated and refur-
bished. The theater is sceduled to
re-open next semester. In the
meantime plays have been being
performed in the smaller Briggs

 

 

lleard-winning film I
making its way to th

Foreign fun: Film explores the intricate
relationship between a mother and her child

By Bryan Marshall

CONTRIBUTING WRITER

 

Students will get a chance
to grasp a better understanding
of the culture of India when an
award-winning film screens on
campus this weekend.

.Ianmadinam or The Day of

Birth will be shown at the Stu~
dent (‘enter's Worsham Theater
this Saturday as a part of (‘ul-
tural Awareness week.

The film. written and iii
rected by Suma .Iosson. focuses
on a mother "daughter relation
ship set in the southern India
state of Keraia.

“It is this untold. unseen.
subtle tension between mother
and daughter. and a slow psy-
chological unfolding of the per-
sonal histories of the tnain
characters. which form the con
tent of the film." .Iosson said.

The narrative takes place
one night where a daughter.
Sarasu. is giving birth to her
child with her mother. Amma.
by her side.

The story includes flash
backs showing Sarasu's strugr
gles to be with a man that her
parents do not want in her life.
as well as glimpses of the fit
tnre. to give viewers an idea of
Sarasu‘s life and the status of

the relationship she has with
her mother.

"The film is hard to under»
stand sometimes because it
goes back and forth through
time." .Iosson said. " but in the
end everything comes together
to make a connection."

.Iosson has also published
two books of poetry and a novel
along with directing doeumen
taries on a variety of socially
pertinent issues.

.Iosson's 1993 documentary
film. Homhay's lilood Yatm.
dealt with the communal riots
in liombay. while her 47 Sec
onds and After: Lari/r. ()smmz»
abad documented the earth‘
quake in Maharastra.

.lanmadinam is .Iosson‘s
first feature film but that is not
stopping it front becoming a
success

The film has received a
tremendous reception. winning
three awards in the Kerala
State awards and being accept»
ed into the Berlin and (‘airo
film festivals in 1998.

The film also is screening
at Duke University and the Uni
versity of Los Angeles.

.Iosson is currently work
ing on an international coliabor
ration with four women film
makers from the I'nited States.

it tattle culture

Theatre.

nusmn [ KERNELSIAFF

 

rom India
e Bluegrass

 

The film Janmadlnam will be playing at 6 pm. Saturday in the larshan
Theater. The film Is about a mother/daughter relationship in indla.

Africa. (‘hina and Germany on
an experimental documentary
on what she calls the “woman‘s
space."

.iosson will conduct an in-

formal discussion directly after
the screening of her film to an-
swer any questions audience
members may have pertaining
to her film.

A

 

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H . it. ,..

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PROUD TO PLRY -

 

 

 

 

    
  
 
 
   
   
  
  
   
     
    
  
   
  
   
  
  
  
  
 
  
  
    

   

 

  
 
 
 
 
 
  

  
   
   
    
  
  
   
 
    
      
    
   
    
    
        
                 
     

 

    
   
   
 
  
  
 
 
  
  
   
  
  
   
 
  
 
   
   
 
 
 
    
  
  
  
 
  
  
  
 
 
  
  
  
    
  

' Party crusher...

  

Rat disrupts
audience at
performance
. of musical

NORFOLK, Va. - Opening
night of "Fiddler on
the Roof" had well-
heeled men and
women bounding to
their feet and
climbing on their
seats ~ all before the
close of Act i.

It wasn't the musical
play's debut
performance at
Chrysler Hall that
moved folks but a
rodent run amok
among the rows.

It all began quietly
enough,Lynda
Lineberry said.

Twenty minutes into the
show Tuesday night,
she bustled in her
seat and her husband
John asked:

"What's wrong?"

“He just grabbed my
leg," she said,
blaming a man in the
row behind them for
bugging her.

She slipped out.
returning from the
restroom in time to
jam a leaping,
shrieking chorus line
of theatergoers.

Apparently, a woman in
Lineberry's same row
had spotted the
show's real nemesis:
a big, fat rat
scurrying from
section to section
between stalks of
pantyhose and slacks.

The rat raced to the rear
of the auditorium
after wreaking a bit
of havoc in the
audience. An usher
captured the
unwanted guest in a
box for safe
removal later.

In the second act, the
actor portraying
Tevye the Milkman
improvised a prayer,
pleading deliverance
from pestilence -
specifically, from
squirming vermin.

ii‘ w o.

Homeless
man steals
to go to jail;
it's warmer

PORT CLlNTON, Ohio - A
drifter who had been
Irving in a field behind
police headquarters
wormed his way
behind bars and a
warmer place to stay
by stealing weapons
from the department,
according to the chief.

”When you spend two
days out in the damp.
30-deqree
temperatures. you do
stupid things," Police
Chief Walter
Bahnsen said.

Anthony Wyckoff, 36.
was released last

:m DIALOGUE

 

Editorial Board

Amanda Thompson, dalogue co-editor Amanda York. editor in chief
John Wampler, dialogue co-editor Chris Emmick. senior columnist
Andrew Grossman, asst. dialogue editor Jennifer Kasten, at-large member
Jenny Robertson. asst. dialogue editor Alan Slone, at-large member

 

 

C__haz Martin

KERNELm COLUMNISI

The rotten cores of

F lorid

()h. Pat Robertson was truth from the start. his
words broadcast over stereo and by stereotype and

through steering wheels from AM dials.

The world is damned indeed and George W. Bush

decadence

well. So would you.

As I do now.

When someone told me yesterday that l have a
rotten core. I tended to agree. Not completely, because

triumphantly reigns in the purgatorial state of orange of feelings of self-respect and preservation, but the

sunshine. getting lap dances from welfare queens who

get paid with his stash of Yale cocaine.

Decadence has descended over the Crisco-coated

Everglades, bathed in by Mickey.
while commercials are filmed to
promote real estate development
sponsored by the Republican Na-
tional Committee.

The mobs of electoral
dropouts have abandoned college
and enlightenment and com—
menced to emptying elementary
schools to provide more workers
to construct the missile defense
system necessary for keeping out
shipwrecked Elians and (lloria
Estei‘ans.

Now that‘s a cause we can
promote with sloganized t-shirts.

The trailers of Florida have
been washed away by mudslides
of compassionate refusal and
placed in a lockbox.

The few remaining in the
apocalyptic peninsula of seniors.
Hispanics. and Spring Breaked
frat children sit in sealed condo-

miniums anti flip the remote control from CNN to
"The Grind.“ and subsequently to The Weather Chan-

nel. as the forecast is made:

Extended showers. followed
chance of Doomsday anti Damnation. Hush and (lore

and Meijer have arrived.

 

A Florida official carrying bags of ballots.
Some people see the chaos over this
state' 5 votes as a reflection on America.

by a 60 percent

merit of her statement was strong.

The Florida election is inherently America and

has the color of its soul. The clawing and pecking and
gristle that has collected in pools
around Bush and Gore has