xt78sf2m922w https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt78sf2m922w/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 1996-12-11 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers  English   Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel  The Kentucky Kernel, December 11, 1996 text The Kentucky Kernel, December 11, 1996 1996 1996-12-11 2020 true xt78sf2m922w section xt78sf2m922w  

 

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WEATHER Mostly cloudy
today, high 60. Rain likely
tonight, low 45. Mostly cloudy
tomorrow, high 50s.

SPLASH UK swimmer Emily Grass cites
her positive outlook as the reason for her

improvement. See Sports, page 2.

 

 

December 11, 1996
IN

Crossword 5 Sports 2

 

Diversions 3 Viewpoint 4

INDEPENDENT SINCE 1971

 

jewell Hall residents

.4

moved out over a VCR

By Mat Herron
Staff Writer

You never can be too careful.

Especially when you are dealing with bombs —
and VCRs.

Residents of Jewell Hall were evacuated yesterday
after an employee called the UK Police Department
to report a “mysterious package” at the front desk of
the residence hall.

At 1:30 p.m., staff assistant Judy Calvert said she
called director of residence life Jim Wims, who then
instructed her to call the UK Police Department
about the unmarked package.

The package had been delivered at 12:15 p.m.,
said John G. Scharfenburger, assistant director of
UK Public Relations. Police and public relations
officials said the package was delivered by a man,
about 5’9”, with glasses and a burr haircut, and pos-
sibly a goatee and mustache.

Calvert said she was not there to see the man
deliver the package because her shift began at 1 p.m.
Police had spoken with the desk worker at the scene
and said the deliverer was not wearing a uniform.

Scharfenburger said the police did not know who
the man was.

Rumors had circulated that the alleged bomb
threat was racially motivated because of a question
the man asked: “Is this a racist place?”

Calvert said during her shift, a man came in and
“made some strange remarks about the dorm.”
These remarks, she said, did not influence her deci-
sion to call residence life.

The bomb squad reached the scene about 5 p.m.
and confirmed the package contained only a VCR.

Paul Binkley, area coordinator for North Campus
residence halls, said packages are signed in frequent-
ly, regardless of whether or not they are marked and
who delivers them.

“We get so many packages,” he said. “It’s just,
‘Hey I’ll sign for it,’ and we let it go.”

Allen Rieman, director of auxiliary services,
whose wife called him about the incident, said,
“That (practice) would happen at almost any office.”

Hall Director Satish Kedia said he did not set off
the alarm, opting instead to bring the students out-
side and tell them the situation. Some students, were
skeptical but wary.

OOIIOOOOOOOOO0.0IOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOI0.0.0....

 

 

 

 

PHOTOS BY JAMES CRISP Kernel staff

”A 30MB Residents of jewel] Hall were evacuated and moved beyond police tape afier a mysterious package, thought
to possibly be a bomb, was left at the hall’s desk. A polite bomb squad was called in and determined the contents of the
box was a VCR. Residents were then let bark into their building.

Ahmed Milan, an accounting junior, was in the
Jewell Hall lobby watching TV when Calvert told
him to get out of the dorm.

“I was like, ‘This is crazy,” Milan said.

He said at the time that he did not think the pack-
age was a bomb.

“I am just waiting to get back in,” he said.

Milan’s friend Ajlina Karamehic was in the Boyd
Hall computer lab when Milan told her about the
alleged bomb.

“I think it is just someone who doesn’t have any—
thing better to do,” said Karamehic, a communica-
tions sophomore. “It is kind of sad that someone
feels that they have to do this, especially when the
dorm is tied to so much culture.”

Information fiir this story was also gathered by Editor in Chief
Brenna Reilly.

 

 

0..OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...OOO0.00000000000000000000000

Board gets
up to date
on library

By James Ritchie
Senior Staff Writer

The new William T. Young
Library is progressing on sched-
ule and within budget, Paul
Willis, director of the Margaret
1. King Library, told the Board
of Trustees yesterday.

“Construction is regressing
very well,” he said. “ e’re pret—
ty close.”

Unlike last winter, the library
is fully enclosed, allowing for
more rapid construction.

Willis said he thinks the
libra will be open some time
next rfyall. The challenge lies in
moving more than 1 million vol-
umes, 800,000 of which must be
relabeled, Willis told the
trustees.

He presented a slide show on
the new library’s features and
showed a computerized video
simulation of what the library
will be like.

One of the new library’s main
functions will be the integration
of teaching and leamin .

“The playing field for access

to information for undergradu-

ates will be level with that ofthe
graduate students and the facul-
ty,” Willis said.

The library will be a leader in
the academic on-line revolution.

When the King Library
opened in 1931, the only electri—
cal devices in the building were
lights and fans, Willis said.

The Young facility will have
more than 3000 computer con-
nections. And, the director said,
better on-line technology will
facilitate improvements in the
distance learning programs,
allowing for a sort of “electronic
bookmobile” that can serve the
entire state.

The new facility will have sev-
eral other improvements over
the old library, including:

VThirty-seven miles of com-
pact shelving. Compact shelving
provides for double the number
of volumes that can be stored
with regular shelvin .

VOne hundred firty-five vis-
itor parking 5 aces, of which the
King Library as none.

VA minimum number of ser—
vice oints. The library will be
large y self-service, which will
save on operating costs.

Traditional offices will be
absent from the Young facility.
Even Willis’ office will be locat-
ed elsewhere.

Also at the meeting, President
Charles Wethington asked the
board to honor Frank Harris,
retiring director of the Student
Center, for his 31 years of ser-
vice.

 

Fate ot lllt mini-colleges
determined by dollars

By Busty Manseau
Staff Writer

A $143,000 grant from the National
Endowment for the Humanities and the
National Science Foundation has helped
fund UK’s mini colleges.

As announced earlier this year, though,
funding in the form of grants has ended,
leavin the University to decide what to do
with e mini-college programs.

The Global Studies program will be
eliminated as no new students are allowed
in the program.

Students who are currently enrolled in
the program, however, are guaranteed to
finish and graduate.

The grant that funds global studies
expires next year.

“We had to make a decision based on
the funding; we decided to keep modern
studies,” Stephen Hart, associate dean of
the College of Arts and Sciences, said.

“It’s unfortunate because (global stud—
ies) is a very good program."

Students were also sad to see halfof the
mini-colle e go.

“I think it’s a shame,” said Michael
Walls, a biotechnology and biology junior
who graduated from the mini colle e.

“It’s a good op ortuni for fres men to
get into smaller classes w ere they can get
more attention,” he said.

Walter Foreman, English professor and
Ctrdirector of the modern studies curricu—
lum for 1996, said he was sad to see the
funding for the interdisciplinary courses
end.

But when it comes down to global stud-
ies versus modern studies, “I’d have to con-
tinue funding the modern studies,” Fore—
man said.

The modern studies program will con-
tinue even though the grant will expire in
July 1997.

The University will continue to fund
modern studies at least through the 1998-
99 two-year term.

“The program has been so successful
that we’re very happy to continue that,”
Hart said.

He said the possibility exists that the
global studies program will be revived in
the future, but only if funds become avail-
able again.

The idea behind the mini-college sys-
tem is to make the classes smaller so stu—
dents can get a better education and more
attention from the teachers.

The program takes two years to com-
plete.

“I think it’s sad ’cause it’s a really good
idea,” Shasta Walker, psychology sopho-
more, said. “It’s a way for freshmen to
make the transition from high school to
college life a little easier.”

Undergraduates 98! practice lfll‘ real lite

lished,” Weaver said.
Students liked the real-life concept of the project.
“I was interested in aging research and did my

By Brandy Carter
Stafan'ter

After a year of hard work, undergraduate students
enjoyed the fruits of their labor at a reception in the
Thomas Hunt Morgan Biological Sciences Building.

Each of the 25 students worked a year on an inde-
pendent research roject. They presented their
results yesterday wi posters and explanations.

Dan Helsten, a pre-med senior, used his project
to investigate cell biolo .

“I enjoyed it a lot anal got a chance to do some-
thing with cell biolo , which is an area that inter-
ests me,” Helsten saigli’qt’s hard on your ego when
things don't go the way you want them to in your
research, but every once in a while you make a neat

 

 

little discovery.”

For Tamara Sapp, a biology junior, the project
had a major impact on her career goals.

”I thought about doing research as a career, but
the project helped me see I don’t want to do this as a
career,” she said.

Kim Le, a biology senior, said her research led
her to another research project.

“I thought I would do the roject for pre-med,
but in the process I started another project related to
pre-denis ,” Le said.

Dana eaver, a biology senior, said undergradu-
ates can learn more doing research than they might
just in the classroom.

“You learn a lot more than you think you would.
The discovery I made in my research even got pub-

project on Alzheimer’s disease,” said Alexander
Coon, a chemical engineering junior. “Research like
this is real life work, not just theories or things you
can learn in class.”

To gain entrance into the independent research
project in biology program, students had to com—
plete a five- age applican'on and find a faculty men-
tor. To fun their research, some students applied to
the Howard Hughes Medical Institute Undergradu-
ate Initiative Program for a $600 grant. The pur-
pose of the program is to help students develop a
dee r a preciation of biological research.

fit 03: students interested in taking part in the
program next semester, applications are now being
accepted. Those students wishing to ap ly for the
grant should turn in their applications by an. 22.

 

NEWSbytes

Wattles to present
research at colloquium

Attention has been given to UK’S development
as an inclusive learning community this semester.
Students in COM 525, Seminar in Organizational
Communication, have spent the semester
researching UK’s diversity.

They will present their research in a two-hour
colloquium tomorrow on the 18th floor of Patter-
son Office Tower from 3 p.m. until 5.

Some of the topics they will discuss include the
diversity of students, faculty and staff; diversity as
a value of education content; recruitment and
retention; and acce tance of diverse ideas.

A discussion will follow the student presenta—
tron.

Concert to promote shared interests

Tonight in the Student Center Grand Ball
room, student organizations are hosting speakers.
information tables, and three local bands: Green
Genes, Ibou and Catawampus Universe.

Some of the sponsoring organizations include
Students for Social Justice, AWARE, Korean Stu~
dent Association, Students for a Free Tibet,
Green Thumb, UK Lambda and Habitat for
Humanity.

The goal of the concert is to bring students and
student organizations together to share their
interests. The sponsoring organizations have
invited student groups to participate and educate
the audience on their projects and events.

The show is free and open to all ages.

NAMEdropping

lee's attempt to reconcile ditlerences

LOS ANGELES —- The marriage of Tommy
and Pamela Anderson Lee is still on rocky ground.
despite an attempt at reconciliation.

The star of television’s “Baywatch” said Mon-
day she didn’t know if the marriage would work.

“I wish him the best, but I’m more concerned
about our son living in a positive, wonderful, lov—
ing environment and that’s the most important
thing,” Pamela Lee said on “The Tonight Show.”

'I he couple married in February 1995 after a
four—day courtshi , but Pamela Lee filed for
divorce last mont , citing irreconcilable differ—
ences. She re ortedly moved to a friend’s ranch
with the coup e’s 5-month-old son.

Pamela Lee’s publicist last week said the couple
had moved back into their Malibu home, but the
star told Leno that wasn’t true.

Tommy Lee, the drummer for Motley Crue,
has re ortedly sought drug, marital and psycho-
logicalpcounseling to help him save the marriage.

Compiled from staff wire reports.

lllt wants new
doctoral program

By Heather Bennett
Contributing Writer

UK wants to establish the first biopharmaceuti-
cal engineering graduate program in the country.

A mini-symposium held yesterday in the Stu—
dent Centcr featured speakers who are experts in
academics and engineering.

They discussed the latest developments in bio-
pharmaceutical engineering, (gave advice on how
to start the new program and iscussed opportuni—
ties available for students with an interest in the
field.

If the doctoral program is approved and funded,
it may begin in fall 1997. The program would be
the only one in the country that would have con-
tributions from pharmaceutical science and engi-
neering.

Pharmaceutical science is the process of taking
a genetically-engineered protein or DNA and con-
verting it to a harmaceutical product.

Director 0 Graduate Studies of Pharmaceutical
Sciences Michael Jay said UK needs this program
because today man people know how to manipu-
late genes, but few now how to process and purify
the roducts.

Ige also said that obtaining the new graduate
program will make UK well-known throughout
the United States for pharmaceutical en 'neering.

Jerome S. Schultz, the director of t e Center
for Biotechnology and Bioengineering at the Uni-
versity of Pittsburgh, spoke at the mini-sympo-
5mm.

“1 am here to help UK make a decision on
whether to establish a biopharmaceutical engi-
neering program by relating the experiences I have
had with the pro m l oversee," he said.

The programfzdirecm is similar to the doctor-
al rogram UK is trying to develop but focuses on
a different subject area.

“If UK does decide to establish the program, I
think it will do well because of the unique excel-
lence of the programs they already have at the
School of Pharmacy,” Schultz said.

Ranjit Shetty, a UK student, thinks the new
graduate program would be good for the Universi-

ty' u think i: is . idea, and 1 would like to get
involved with it,” c said.

 

 

 

  
 
 
 
 
   
   
 

   

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1
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\

 

 

2 Wednesday, December I], I996, Kennedy Kerrie!

...—vm.-o .

 

’ Advertise in the ‘17! ‘7’

Call 2 5' 7-2

66

Hit a half-court shot and have your
Spring ‘97* tuition paid by the
Women’s Basketball

Friday, December 13
7:00 pm

of Ohio
Memorial Coliseum

 

 

 

U.K. Women vs. Miami

 

 

.fl.
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TRY THt BIG BONE,
28 OZ DRAFT BEER'

 

 

 

    

Grass success

By 0. Jason Stapleton

Senior Staff Writer

What a difference a year makes.

Last season, UK swimmer
Emily Grass was inconsistent at
best. So far this season, she has
been one of the Wildcats’ best
strokcrs.

“She’s a lot more consistent
this year," said UK head swim-
ming coach Gary Conelly. “She’s
one of those athletes that gets beat
up in practice and it's really hard
for her to recover, but she’s done a
lot better with training this year.”

Conelly said there were times
last season when Grass would be
off her game for weeks at a time
because she was hurting.

This season, however, Grass
has not had that problem.

Grass said she thinks the
biggest difference in her perfor-
mance is her new outlook toward
the team.

“I think I have a positive atti-
tude a lot more this year,” Grass
said. “I ran into some problems
just being sick last year.”

Last season was Crass’s first on
the collegiate level, and she had
trouble adjusting to a more rigor-
ous training schedule.

“It’s a big change coming from
high school to college with swim—
ming, as far as training wise,” she
said.

Grass, who hails from
Knoxville, has been on fire so far
this season, and it all started
against her hometown school of
Tennessee.

She won the 200 breaststroke
to give the Wildcats their first-
ever win against the Volunteers.

Then, when the team traveled
to Chapel Hill, N.C., Grass finally
showed exactly what she was capa—
ble of doing.

“That was probably the best
meet she’s had since she has been
here at the University of Ken-
tucky,” Conelly said. “It was a lit-
tle surprising because she came up
with her best time ever.”

Grass blew away the competi-
tion in the 400-yard individual
medley by swimming the race in
4:23.58.

 

 
 
  

Pbotofiemiybed

8180K! UK rwimmer Emily Gran continue: to improve.

That time broke the old UK
mark of 4:23.89, set by Grass’s
good friend and roommate, janie
Reed.

Grass said, however, that there
is no intense competition between
them.

“I didn’t want to break her
record in particular,” Grass said.
“I don’t really think ofit as com-
petition; (we’re happy for) whoev-
er does better.”

Coming from Knoxville, Grass
had a big decision to make when
choosing which school she was
going to attend.

“I think her father wanted her
to stay at UT, because her uncle is
a coach there,” Conelly said. “But
her mother really wanted her to
go away to school so there was
really a kind of pushing and
pulling thing going on.”

Grass said she just really liked
UK and wanted to get away from
home, which made the decision a
lot easier for her.

The NCAA championships are
especially important to Grass this
year, because it will be her last
chance to swim against her sister,
who is a senior swimmer for the
University of Minnesota.

06.0.0.0...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOO...OOOOOOOOIIOOOOOCOOOOOCIIOOOOOOOOIOOOOOOOOOO....00...IOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ram standing (Ill! IOI‘ T-Blatles

 

 

 

FREE CONCERT!!!

Featuring...
Catawampus Universe
Green Genes
Ibou
Tonight! Wednesday, Dec. 11

in the

UK Student Center Ball Room from
6:00-10:00pm

presented by

 

Students for Social Justice, UK Lambda, Habitat for Humanity,
Green Thumb, A.W.A.R.E., Korean Student Association,

and SGA
EVERYONE IS WELCOME!!!

 

 

 

\\

 

   

‘ PAIN!

Have you found yourself
3 credits short?
You can begin a course
now through the
Independent Study Program.

      

 

 

 

 

 

By Fausto Menard
Staff. Writer

Jordan, Bird, Montana, Rice, Gretzky.
Everybody loves the high—profile offensive
star.

Even defensive standouts like Jamie
Ram.

At 5-foot-l 1, 175 pounds, Ram could be
mistaken for any 25-year-old. He listens to
modern rock, surfs the Internet and watch-
es “Friends.” And like many digenerians, he
has his summers off.

But he’s not a college student. Instead,
he is a student of art. For nine months out
of the year, Ram studies the art of goaltend—
ing for the Kentucky Thoroughblades in
the American Hockey League.

“When I was younger, all the kids in the
nei hborhood were older than me," he
sait. “They were all my older brother’s
friends and they would say ‘throw the
young kid in net.’ That’s how it happened.”
Now in his third year as a pro, Ram,
whose rights are owned by the New York
Rangers, loves the opportunity to play for a
successful or anization that has been so
well received y the fans.

“The organization is fantastic,” Ram
said. “Playing for a new team is great.
There’s a lot of excitement around; the fans
are fantastic. It’s real exciting to play. It’s
one of the best cities in the minor leagues.”
Ram developed his net skills in Scarbor—
ough, Ontario, in greater Toronto. His
prowess brou ht him to the campus of
Michigan Tech in 1990. Ram played there
for four years, once defeating the No.'l

°ATA ° HKA ° (DZK - AXA'

FRATERNITY
RUSH...

team in the land, Colorado College, in the
NCAA Tournament. To date, it’s his
favorite game as a goalie.

By 1991 Ram was drafted by the Rangers
in the 10th round of the National Hockey
Lea e entry draft. In 1994 he began his
pro essional career with the Binghampton
(NY) Ran ers of the AHL.

Ram’s first action in the NHL was with
the New York Rangers last season. He
ended up guarding the net op osite one of
the idols who was in net for t e Colorado
Avalanche, Patrick Roy.

“1 had an opportunity to talk to (Roy)
after the ame one thing he said to me
was that e’s never really worried about
having a good goal against average; it’s
more im ortant to have wins,” he said.

Ram as both.

He currently has 13 wins, with 56 games
to go; a goal-against average under 3; a save

ercentage over .900; and is tied for the
ea rue lead with three shutouts.

Iow does this year compare to others?

“This year has definitely, so far, been the
best year,” he said, “and hopefully it will
continue. Ho efully, if things 0 well this
year, somebody will give me a c ance at the
end of the season.”

Ram knows his time will come, if not
with the Rangers, maybe with another
team. At the end of the season, he becomes
a free agent and can negotiate with any
team.

The only timetable Ram has set for him-
self is to reach the NHL “as soon as possi-
ble.” But even if he doesn’t reach his goal
any time soon, he doesn’t think he could
ever leave hockey on his own.

 

SPORTSbytes

San Antonio tires coach
18 games into season

SAN ANTONIO —- San Antonio Spurs coach
Bob Hill, his team off to a 3-15 start, was fired yes-
terday and replaced by team general manager Gregg
Popovich.

Popovich began coaching the team with last
night’s game in Phoenix.

The Spurs have been playing without center
David Robinson, who has been out of the lineup
because of back pain.

Robinson was expected to return for last night’s
game.

"all“! CIIICII (III “I! III)! “I!

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Vanderbilt’s 14th
straight losing season has Coach Rod Dowhower’s
future being doubted and defensive coordinator
Woody Widenhofer being suggested as his replace-
ment.

Dowhower is 4-18 after two seasons, but Todd
Turner, Vanderbilt’s athletic director, won’t com-
ment on reports that Dowhower is headed out.
Turner will say only that the football program is
being evaluated.

“I won’t be backed into that corner,” Turner told
The Tennessean yesterday. “We’re honoring his
contract and evaluating the program continuously,
as we are with all of our coaches and programs.”

The Commodores haven’t had a winning season
since going 8—4 under George MacIntyre in 1982.
Three coaches, I 17 losses and no bowl appearances
have followed since then.

Compiled from wire reports.

 

Do you feel a

 

  

developing?

 

FH-KA'QDK‘P-ZX'AFP'CDKT-ZAE

 

lnde an em
UK sm y
Program
Room 1 Frozen Hall - 257-3466
http://www.uky.edu/ISP
‘ A' ’

Be A Part Of
The Greek
Community

§
Spring Rush
Begins
Sunday, January 12
at 12 p.m.
and ends
Friday, January 17
at 12 p.m.

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oAZCI) ' B81] 0 AT!) 0 ZCDE - KA 0 (IJK‘I’

 

 

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Krmurky Kernel, Wednesday, December ii, [996 8

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Smashing Pumpkins...

f By Gary Wult
' Associate New; Editor
* i t ‘k I /2

Wings," “Said Sadly" spotlights guitarist james lha’s
writing ability. The song is distinctively Iha's with
his lyrics and about how he has fallen in love with
someone. The ballad stands out because of

The year of the pum kins continues with the ENC“ Sing“. Nina Gordon, Who prowdes the
release of Tb: Arrogant Flies Higb. ac’lggl'ro‘l‘lnd V‘,’,C3.ls' . .
1 The Smashing umpkins new box set lives up to _ I“); 1979 ”Single contains a polgish sound
expectations. The 33-track, five-CD set contains the like “18 30y. another song from a, and Set
five singles released this year, “Bullet with Butterfly

the Ray to Jerry,” which seduces the listener with
' Wings, “Zero,” “1979, “Tonight, Tonight“ and a simp e bass rhythm and subtle guitar strumming.
‘ “Thirty-Three.”
c

The song expresses Cor an’s need for love.

Ea CD seems to possess one consistent sound, “I want you and”! nee you/all you are is brand ,- .

whether it be hard-driving guitar riffs or a mellow, ney‘and I need you. . ' g“

laid—back roove. lhe third part of the five-CD set prOVides the
The irst disc, contains mostly cover songs from

loud, angry Pumpkin sounds ofwhich seem to con—
other bands includin The Cars “You’re All [ Need nect people. Corgan vents his frustration with songs
Tonight” that me from

 

 

o
r'~\ ‘

Still "Vin'hitlli on box set

one downfall is the disastrous “Pistachio Melody" that
combines 70 songs from the Siamese Dream and the
[Melon Collie and the In nite Sadness sessions. The
23—minute debac c has potential, but only if
the songs were played out completely and
with lyrics. However, the lO-second snippets
of each part get annoying after two minutes.
“Tonight, Tonight" is stripped down in the
fourth disc with a reprise that Cor an plays
acousticall . The song takes a new orm and
sounds mucli simpler, but the message of the song
hits much harder.
The rest of the CD )rovides some of the most
mellow son rs of the band’s career. The melodic and
strangely tit ed “Meladori Magpie" gives the listener

NOTICE 1 ‘

like “God."

“God knows I’m help-
less/God knows I’m rest-
less and weak full of piss
and vinegar”

The

the opening drum beat to
the final lyric.

The onl non-cover song
besides
Butterfly

 
 
 
  
 
  
 
 
   
 
 
 
 

 

 

“ ullet with

a chance to hear the Pumpkins pla a folk song that
is reminiscent of songs from the 0 er B-side album
Pine: [tr/trim. /
The strangest song comes from the “Thirty—
three" sin le. In “The Aeroplane Flies High (Turns
Left, Looks Right)" Corgan speaks on an intercom,
as ifhe were a pilot, addressing the listener.
'l he album ends on a different note than it be an.
Corgan gets behind the ivory keys for “My lue
lleaven,’ which is also a cover song. He paints his
ideal life.
“Just Molly and me/and baby makes three/we’re
happy in my blue heaven.”
Once again, the Pum )kins make music some
groups only wish they could come close to producing. \ -

 

 

WHAT'Syour Sign?

By Suzanne Raffeld
Aries (March 21—April 19):

You decide to get real festive for
the holiday season. You don't just
buy a couple of those cheesy
Christmas sweatshirts, but turn
yourselfinto a walking tree, com-
plete with lights and ornaments.
This makes you quite a treat to
have around for parties, so have
fun.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): On
the redeeming qualities scale, you
score a low four. The holidays will
be a time of painful retribution,
where what goes around comes
around and causes bodily harm.

Gemini (May Zl-june 20):
Green elves will aid you in your
shopping expedition this season.

 

A ”Arc-VHF“

wanted, and you keep your mouth
shut.

Virgo (Aug. 23—Sept. 22): You
start believing that you really are
Santa Claus. But unlike Mirarle on
34th Streer, where everything is all
peachy keen at the end, you get
carted off to the local mental hos-
pital for observation. But you do
bring joy and goodwill to the
other patients, and you also dis-
cover a couple of your missing
elves.

Libra (Sept. 23—Oct. 22):
While decorating a tree, you get a
minor shock from one ofthe lights.
Unfortunately, your brain capaci—
ty was shaky to begin with, and
this just wiped out what was left.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-‘\IoV. 21):
Because you are a member of a

pagan religion, you do not get to
participate in the commercialized
wonder that is Christmas. Instead,
you devise a holiday ritual of your
own, where you go out and antag—
onize the local mall Santas by
shouting lewd epithets at them.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-I)ec. 2 1):
Santa gets stuck in your chimney,
and instead of being a benevolent
and kind human being, you leave
him there to rot. You decide to
work that capitalist thing and
charge the neighborhood kids $5 a
head to see Santa in all his glory.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-jan. 19):
You get trampled in the mall
parking lot by a bunch of
overzealous shoppers. No one
comes to aid, so you remain on
the concrete. Various small chil—

dren visit you, and occasionally
hang ornaments from your coni-
pound fractures.

Aquarius (Ian. 20—Feb. 18):
You will gain 50 pounds over the
holiday break. But this is emotion—
al baggage and not fat that you
acquire. So you shrink about two
inches but still remain svelte, and
your new petite look garners a lot
ofattention.

Pisces (Feb. l9—March 20):
Naughty or nice? Well, you've
been bad Pisces, really bad. All the
magical and mythical creatures of
the holiday season have declared
you their arch enemy. Santa and
the elves can be downright cruel
at times, and the fat man is pretty
proficient with that whip, so be
careful.

Parking Services

305 Euclid Avenue

TEMPORARY CHANGE IN

OPERATING HOURS

During the week of December 9-13, 1996,

Parking Servlces will be open only during following hours:

Monday-Friday 7:30 a.m.—4:00 pm.
Closed 11:30—12:45 for lunch

The regular Parking Services staff will be In training during this week; but
the office will be staffed with other personnel to assist you. The office will
not be open for evening hours December 9—13. Regular hours, Including
evenlng hours, will resume December 16. Thank you for your understanding
and cooperation. We regret any lnconvenlence you may experience.

Phone 257-5757

 

 

 

This is a good thing, because they
are excellent shoppers and provide
for a nifty topic of conversation.
, Not too many people get to go
f out with Santa’s helpers.

_ Cancer (lune Zl-july 22): In
" late December, you will drink
5 . some bad eggnog which will cause
‘ you to be bedridden for quite
' ' some time. This usually would not
‘4 . be too swell of an occurrence for
. most people, but since you enjoy
the more seedy and dramatic
aspects of life, this event is work-
ing for you.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): While
taking a walk, you are run over by
an out—of-control sleigh. Appar-
ently, Santa has been hitting the
. bottle, and you got in his way.
f , You make a deal with ‘01 Kris
Kringle in which he gets you that
luxury sports car you’ve always

 

http://www.uky.edu/Parklng

 

 

 

 

 

UK Students!!!

ANNOUNCEMENT

1997
Summer School
Catalogs

+~"‘

 

 

    

 

 

 

.33. Ready December 12
. k‘flfltmatasha (“‘96 plan your x
, E" "‘23: Four and Eight- Week . / ,
N,,,,,,.,C.,e Summer Sessions //
, s ‘:$%fi‘£$f‘° over the holidays ,,
Z i - p/
i \.

Pick up a Schedule at
C

Your College Office
O
Frazee Hall Lobby

 

 

 
 
  
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
   

 

W/Skl Movies, Munchies, Drinks
& Tons of Door Prizes!

a

O

I O O

.. 486 DX4-100 or Central Adwsmg
Pentium 100th

TREAT YOURSELF ml! CHRISTMAS”

ASK SANTA FOR ONE”

Full Multimecia. lnterna Ready with Netscqie.

High Speed Modem. Window. 95
I6MB RAM. CD ROM. l4" SVGA Monitor.
Mid-Tower. mm Keyboard.
3 YEAR WARRANTY. Complete Support,

 
   

0
Student Center

Priority Registration for - i ‘ " v __ 1 .
Summer School and Fall 1997 ' a.

IIll4f\\‘ ' .-

 

   
 
 

ALL THIS FOR $99SI$ll95
Call:DeeplnyE|eetlonlcS¢tvIcu -r- _, "
(606) 231.9572 VIVWGIM: III/80m 0‘

moo-$34035 . With 31 _ .
M””°""'""'°"°"’"”" begms audiotape ' rt - 304.572.4636 . inio.

“'3' reservations - $04.57*-

Note: Continuing Students
do not need to Reapply for Admisslon

You room: for monitor repair a custom
built permiiel computers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    
 

i
l
i
1
i
,
1

 

,4 Wednesday, December 11, I996, Kentucky Kernel

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

m EDIIATIMS LATEST BRlGHT IWAm

 

‘scn TO WORK