xt7d513txc3p https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7d513txc3p/data/mets.xml The Kentucky Kernel Kentucky -- Lexington The Kentucky Kernel 1978-09-14 Earlier Titles: Idea of University of Kentucky, The State College Cadet newspapers  English   Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. The Kentucky Kernel  The Kentucky Kernel, September 14, 1978 text The Kentucky Kernel, September 14, 1978 1978 1978-09-14 2020 true xt7d513txc3p section xt7d513txc3p By M. TIMOTHY KOONTZ
Staff Writer

Theoldcarsand trucks pull onto the
gravellotattheeornerofMainand
Cox streets early in the morning.
Tarps are pulled off the backs of pick-
ups. car trunks are opened. and trailers
are un-hitched.

Makeshift stands built of discarded
bushel baskets and old boards display
fresh fruits and vegetables. Friendly

banter abounds between seller and

buyer as the Farmers' Market opens
for the day.

Apples. red cabbage. acorn squash
—— the variety of produce sold is
matched by the melange of vendors.
“It goes to show you that everyone
who's retired isn‘t dead." remarked
one elderly seller.

“This is a party here,” said Deborah
Downing. a farmer from Scott County
and one of the originators of the five-

Vol. LXXI, No. 20
Thursday. Septenber 14. l978

year-old market. “There's no
generation gap in this place. Freaky.
long-hair farmers help the older
vendors with their heavy baskets.
Blacks and whites watch over each
other's stands if somebodyhasto leave
for a minute. We‘re like a big family
here.“ she said.

The Farmers' Market. started as a
surplus produce outlet for small local
farms. has expanded into two
locations in Lexington (Main Street
and in Shillito Park) and now offers
fresh. trucked-in fruits from as far
away as Indiana. Michigan and
Alabama. as well as Kentucky-grown
vegetables.

Customers prefer the market to
large grocery stores mainly because of
the cheaper prices and the freshness of
the produce. “The quality of the
vegetables is usually much better.”
said Henry Hughes. a UK Art History

graduate student and frequenter of the
Farmer's Market.

According to Hughes. the market
offers a wider variety of produce than
the large supermarkets and “the
people just seem more honest here.”

(In a survey of major Lexington
supermarkets. it was found that the
produce sold is usually four-days-old

. . when it is put on the shelves. The fruits

and vegetables are allowed to remain
on the shelves three to seven days.
depending on the type of produce}

The produce at the Farmers‘ Market
is usually picked the day before it is
sold.

“You see these peaches. here," said
Bessie Gilbert, a Bourbon County
farmer. “My daughter climbed the tree
yesterday and shook it good. I stayed
on the ground and filled the baskets.

“I get the same customers coming
back all the time. I'm on a first name
basis with a lot of them.”

KENTUCKY

an independent student ne

er 2' University of Kentucky
wspaper

Most farmers sell their surplus
produce after filling their freezers and
fruit cellars. but Robert Bartensehlag.
a Madison County “strictly vegetable”
farmer. just enjoys selling his goods at
the market.

Bartensehlag said.“|t's sort of a
hobby with me. My wife and I picked
all these vegetables yesterday and
spent half the night sorting. loading
and getting the truck ready. We sell
people good stuff at reasonable prices
and it‘s not shopworn. We know
they'll be back.”

Many enjoy the market's informal
atmosphere. “I get a lot of cooking
suggestions from the farmers,” said
customer Mai Clark, a Lexington
resident. “I‘m from the country myself
and l like to stop at the different stands
and compare recipes. Some of these
people really know how to cook
vegetables and use herbs."

Continued on page 4

\

Lexington. Kentucky '

Newspaper and Extension Office
join to prOvide tax instruction

By STEVE MASSEY
Staff Writer

Taxes. The monkey on the middle
class back. The nuisance that Howard
Jarvis and his California colleagues
recently quelled. The government‘s
slice of pie.

We all could use a little more
knowledge about, if not relief from,
taxes.

In response to the growing concern
and interest on this issue, the UK
Evening Class Program is offering a
course entitled “Taxation: Myth and
Realities.“ in collaboration with a l5-
week series that is to appear in The
Lexington Leader starting today.

Steve Wilson, editor of The Leader.
thinks the articles will provide “a
probing look at how the tax system is
run.”

He continued, “The thrust of it (the
series/ is to provide an overview of
how the tax system is run, as well as to
suggest ways in which tax problems
can be handled.”

According to an editorial written by
Wilson, the home-study series started
in I973 under a nationwide program

calling itself “Courses by Newspaper. “
Funds for publication of the series are
provided by the National Endowment
for the Humanities.

George F. Break. a University of
California-Berkeley economist, is the
coordinator of the tax series. Experts
will be writing the weekly articles,
which will cover issues ranging from
tax loopholes to property tax
alternatives.

Dr. William Stober of the UK
Collegge of Business and Economics
will be the instructor for students
taking the class on campus. Stober
said his approach to the class willbe to
“use the articles in the paper as the
basis, plus a supplementary book that
includes more elaboration on each of
the issues.“

Stober hopes the class will provide
“a greater understanding of the
problem of taxation that would allow
more intelligent evaluation for the tax
system and proposition reforms."

Stober's class will meet five times
during the semester, once at the
beginning and then at intervals
corresponding to course subsections.

 

.tcday

Asia. officials say.

subcomittees to continue study.

today and tonight.

 

nafion

President Carter. rebuffing persistent signals of friendship from
Vietnam. is quietly extending the US. trade embargo agaimt Hanoi.
In its early months, the Carter administration showed considerable
interest in friendly ties with Hanoi, but he now seems cool to the idea.
The major reason for the continuation of the embargo is that the
administration is anxious not to offend China. which looks upon
Vietnam as an instrument of Soviet strategic purposes in Southeast

state

A hearlng ls scheduled for today on Louisville Mayor William
Stansbury‘s challenge of the legality of a select aldermanic committe‘s
investigation of his conduct in office.

The aldermen. at a meeting Tuesday night. failed to accept a
suggestion by Alderman Bill Heath to abandon the committee
approach and start impeachment proceedings.

Several alderrnen said later that a move to start impeachment
proceedings would have to be carefully considered.

A legldatlve advisory commlttee representing government.
academe and the public gathered in Flemingsburg yesterday to review
and plot the fate of the Maxey Flats radioactive waste burial site.

The ID members present of the ll~member panel. joined by state
officials and news reporters. toured the 250-acre dumping ground for
low-level radioactive wastes under the guidelines of scientists and
officials of Nuclear Engineering Co. of Louisville.

Following a wide-range discussion of the technical and public
policy problems associated with Maxey. the Interim Special Advisory
Committee on Radioactive Waste Disme agreed to split into two

weather

Perla. of showmand thunderstorms today through Friday.

Low tonight near 70. Highs today and tomorrow in the low to mid 00s.
Southerly winds 5 to IS miles per hour today. Winds strong and
gusty near thunderstorms. Probability

of preciptation 80 percent

 

 

The course is also worth two credit-
hours to UK students. Millard Allan.
director of the Evening Class
Program. said, “Essentially, the class

can serve as late registration for
students who need a class — with the
proper approval of the Dean and
advisor, of course.” I

Registration is being held in Rm.

103 Frazee Hall. It will continue

through Sept. 26. The course is also 4

available on a non-credit basis
through the Independent Study

Program. located in the basement of
Frazee Hall. through Oct. 2.

Wilson said about the decision? to
run the series — a first for The Leader,

Wilson ‘said. “The topic was the
deciding factor. Taxes are in the news
and on people's minds at this time.”

If the series is well received. Wilson

, hopes to continue with other home

study services.
“Absolutely, that's our hope. If this

thing goes well. we plan to make this
an on-going service. We feel it is a

good thing for us. for our readers. and

the public. It is certainly educational."
he said.

Radio and TV problems?

Blame the sun and the weather

By JACK WAINWRIGHT
Staff Writer

Many people may be ready to send
their radios or televisions to the repair
shop because of recent poor reception.
but repairmen can‘t fight the weather
or sun.

The reception problems have been
blamed on sunspots. But this isn‘t true.
according to a UK professor. The real
problem is the explosions that cause
the sunspots.

Sunspots. which appear on the sur-
face of the sun. coincide with small
explosions. according to Frank Clark.
professor of astronomy and physics.

“The small explosions have an effect
on the earth but the spots themselves

“Sunspots occur in ll-year cycles
with a peak period in the l lth year." he
said. explaining that the activity is
within a year of'its peak.

(which are cool spots on the sun‘s sur-
facedo not.“ he said.

The explosions send a large amount
of x-rays and electrons to the earth.
"There is always a flow of these parti-
cles moving from the sun to the earth.
but these explosions increase the
flow.“ Clark said.

“X-rays enter the atmosphere at a
velocity that tears apart atoms when
they collide." he said. This increases
the number of charged particles in the
ionosphere (an upper layer of the
atmosphere consisting partially of ions
and electrons).

w

B) TOM MORAN/Kernel Staff

_Pedalin ’ along

Phillip Parker. art education freshman. has solved his getting-around
problem by alternating between crutches and wheels. He’s used to the
problem since this is his third broken ankle.

Clark explained that this influx of
particles has two major effects. “The
first effect is that it is noisy and the
second effect is to modify the
ionosphere.

“A large influx can bring the layer
closer to the surface and change it‘s
ionized layer (a layer at the bottom
edge of the ionosphere similar to a
blankethe said.

According to Clark. this layer nor-
mally reflects radio waves. causing
them to bounce from one point to
another. “If the layer changes. it can
change the direction of a bounce or
block a direct beam to a satellite.“ he
said.

Amato calls traffic congestion. his
’biggest headache’ so far during term

By MARY ANN TAPP
Staff Writer

Traffic has been his biggest
headache since taking office nine
months ago, Lexington Mayor James
Amato said at yesterday‘s Student Bar
Association Wednesday Forum.

Amato said there have been efforts
to do something about the traffic
problem. including streamlining
Nicholasville Road traffic. A new
reversible lane will be added to the
road sometime this fall. he said.

Several million dollars have been set
aside to build a bridge over the
Southern Railroad tracks at South
Broadway and Scott Street. he added.

The proposed Man ‘0 War
Boulevard “will someday be another
belt highway to serve the
developments already in the area from
Winchester Road to Harrodsburg
Road.” he continued.

Amato called snow another major
problem he faced upon entering office.

The city‘s Snow Removal Task
Force has been working since April on
a new snow plan. but the ordinances it

MAYOR JAMES AMATO

has proposed still must be approved by
the Urban County Council.

The plan. called The Five-Point
Plan. is hoped to be of help. especialy
since forecasters have called for of l l0
inches of snow this winter and four
blizards in December. he said.

The points of the plan are:

— designating streets on which
parking will be prohibited. The city
will have the authority to tow
violaters:

w choosing alternate school bus
routes. especially for rural children;

— buying nine additional snow
plows.

-— using surplus trucks to transport
the plows and buying pick-up trucks
that can be fitted with plows;

,_ hiring private contractors for the
use of their industrial snow plows.
(Money has been given to the city for
this purpose.)

About last year‘s snow mess. Amato
said. “Solution to the snow is called
‘April.’ because that is about the time
we get it cleared up.”

On another topic. Amato said he
doesnt see any solution to the parking
problem around campus. Lexington
police will continue issuing tickets to
cars violating the city's fire lane laws.
which prohibit parked cars on both
sides of certain streets.

Amato was the second speaker in
the SBA‘s Wednesday Forum series.
which is held in the College of Law
Courtroom. Next week‘s speaker will
be Jefferson County Fiscal Court
member Sylvia Watson.

Broadcasters have reported varying
effects from the sunspot activity.

“We‘ve been having interference
and skipping problems from suns-
pots.“ said Richard Harvey. assistant
director of relay systems at CBS.

The problems in microwave trans-
mission at CBS depend on how farthe
receiver is from the station. “Problems
with skipping usually begin about 6
p.m.." he said.

Skipping occurs when there is more
than one station on the same fre-
quency in a general area. “In skipping.
one (station on) channel 2 can receive
the broadcast of another (station on)
channel 2.“ according to Harvey.

John Kohler. an engineer at WLEX-
TV-Ch. l8. said his station had prob-
lems two or three weeks ago. during a
peak period of solar activity. “People
who lived 20 to 50 miles away were
able to pick up reception that they
couldn‘t normally." he said.

“We did not have problems between
us and the network. only in our trans-
missions.” Kohler continued.

Sunspot activity has caused no
problems at NBC. according to Bob
Muller. the company‘s manager of stu-
dio operations and central switching.

“The only problems I am aware of
have been problems due to weather
inversions." Weather inversions are
the familiar phenomena which trap air
pollution in one area.

The same problem was mentioned
by Mike McCorstin. staff supervisor
of media relations at Long Lines C o. (a
division of Bell Systems).

“The only problems we experience
are weather inversions which can bend
radio waves between receiving points.”
McCorstin said. “Even these problems
can be rerouted instantly.”

Difficulties have arisen in overland
transmission during weather inver-
sions at ABC. according to William
Gilmore. director of engineering and
program operations.

“The only problem we‘ve had with
satellites (which ABC uses for signal
transmissionis the sun shining directly
unto the receiving dishes.“ he said.

 

  

 

Keane .

editorials 8: comments

Steve Idling"
Editor in Chief

Circles Meta
Editorial Editor

Richard McDonald
News Editor

Thoma: Clark ' 6"" Fields

lunar Wehnrs
Associate Editors

Mary Ann lurker!
Debbie McDaniel
Derry Pearce

F. Jenny Tare
Copy Editors

Walter Tunis
Ans Editor

Cary Willis

Assistant Arts Editor

Sports Editor

Jamie Vauglu
Associate Sports Editor

David O‘Neil
Director of Photography

Tor-Murat
Photo Manager

Nell Fields
Style Editor

 

Judicial tide has turned a

‘ '

 

 

 

 

Lette .- to the Eo’itor

 

 

Get serious

Well. after looking at two pages of
“oh. the poor Iranians." editorializa-
tion in Wednesday‘s Kernel ljust can‘t
take it any more.

The student which Charles Main
profiles for us. Muhammad Moujahid
(not his real name) seems to be quite a
paradox. He has come to this country
to study subjects which he said were
taught to him in an lranian high
school. and says we are not serious.

Are we

By Lucinda R. Gross

So we have some 5.000 odd
delinquent students out there trying to
clog up the cogs of business affairs by
keeping the administration in wonder
and mute awe oyer why fees hayen't
been paid and a perplexed Vice-
President of Affairs trying his
darndest to figure out why some
students just can‘t pay by mail and
ayoid those lines.

Well. just calm down and perhaps I
can alleyiate the confusion a bit and
proyide a little insight and
enlightenment for our kind buddies of

Muhammad {not his real nameialso
takes part in marches around the
campus. which is l0.000 miles away
from his home. and he thinks them to
be a serious deterrant to the Shah's
ever-growing power.

Well I‘ll tell you what. Muhammad
Moujahid (not your real namei: lcan‘t
take you seriously.

If you want seriousness why don‘t
you round up all ol'your fellow Iranian
patriots (not their real status). go

down to a Central or South American
uniyersity and take a few courses in
(‘iyilian lTprising. Undergrounu
Resistance and (iucrilla Tactics then
go home to wipe out your asshole
Shah.

lhe only problem I can see with this
plan is that it requires action serious
action.

Richard Smith
English senior

 

gainst the press'

Farber, Stanford defeats show
press-trial balance needs restoring

Court decisions are beginning to turn American
journalism into a feeble institution.

Long protected by the First Amendment, the
press finds its freedoms now being defined more
narrowly each year.

The trend is not a new one, of course. Beginning
in the last decade, the Supreme Court started mak-
ing inroads on the lenient libel standards set down in
the New York Times vs. Sullivan. The press was
allowed to make fewer and fewer mistakes, rights of
privacy were given extra emphasis, and defendants
in libel suits were called upon to furnish more and
more evidence of innocence.

And the trend toward more control of newspap-
ers. especially in the Supreme Court. is gaining
strength. A decision earlier this year affirmed the
right of police to search a newsroom for evidence,
even though no one in it is suspected of committing
a crime.

Also this year. New York Times reporter Myron
Farber has been jailed for refusing to surrender his
notes ‘in a criminal case. a judge‘s decision that
apparently violates the New Jersey shield law. The
Times also sustained about both of these cases is
Times also sustained heavy fines in that proceeding.
authorities were said entitled to unlimited access to
journalistic materials.

in the past. newspapers would often readily
comply with specific subpoenas for pertinent infor-

mation. Now a prosecutor can order a general ran-
sacking of a neWsroom, invading the privacy of
untold numbers of people in the process.
One also can only guess what injustices may come
from this power, after it is coupled with existing
abuses. such as in the grand jury process.

Under these conditions. the press can hardly carry
out vigorous reporting and investigating—essential
in bringing to light information that the public
should be aware of. The ability to keep a confiden-
tial source is particularly dubious right now. and
newsmen are finding it difficult to gain the trust of
potential confidants.

How far does this situation extend? Throughout
the full range of news media. both print and elec-
tronic. It‘s significant that the defendant in the
newspaper search case was The Stanford Daily. a
college newspaper. it sought to keep photographs of
demonstrators confidential. a situation that could
arise at any paper. At The Kernel. staffers have been
in circumstances that may cause them to defy a
request for information someday. leading to possi~
ble jail terms.

For years. the conflict between a free press and a
fair trial was kept in careful balance. That balance
should be restored to give America the robust,
unfettered press it needs. Unless the current trend
changes. journalists may not be the only citizens
whose rights are threatened.

just. breeding punctual ’no-cares?’

the bureaucracy and speak tip for
myself and the other 4.999 students
that “might as well pick up their bags
and leave." as has been so thoughtfully
suggested.

Now I know this is going to be a
tough one but. belieyc it or not. there
are those of us who do not hayc moms
and dads writing out a big fat check

eycry semester. and there are those of

us who base to work for a ll\ ing so we
will not starve to death.

Yes. there are men a few who areias
they say) making their own way.
working ftill time. paying rent. doctor
bills and insurance. trying to stay

healthy by eating. buying socks.
underwear and textbooks trying to
educate themsclycs and be responsible
adults participating in your basic life-
maintenance game with no support
from any person.place. or thing but
oiirsely‘es.

Now l‘m not an easily agitated type
of person but I think I‘ll spit up if i
oyerhcar one more person bragging
about the grant money they just got so
they could take a little trip to Florida.

You see. the “system" is set tip so
that ifyou makeover $2.400 a year you
make too much to qualify for a basic
grant, lloweyer. if you do qualify they

 

 

lhe Kentucky Kernel welcomes
contributions from the l K community for
publication on the editorial and opinion
pages. '

letters. opinions and commentaries must
be typed and triple-spaced. and must include
the writer‘s signature. address and phone
number. l'K students should include their
year and mayor. and l nl\t‘l’.\'ll) employees
should list their position and department

The Kernel may condense or meet
contributions. and frequent writers may be
limited thtors resent the right to edit for
correct spelling. grammar and clarity. and
may delete libelous statements

Contributions should he deliyered to the
Editorial Editor. Room II.‘ Journalism.
l'ntyerslty of Kerwarty. latington. Ky.
4““

Letters:

Should he in lines or l('\\, 60 i lmrui'li'ri
[it'r lim'

(’mrii'rn [W’Ilt‘il/HI l\\lli'\. ionii'rm or
menu relay-um m Ilnr l'A‘ ( nriiniimrri

Opinions:

Should In- 91) lines or Int, 00 i'lmrui le'lt
pm [me

(Hi (' U’N’l' \pliirri u [NHIIII’Iil‘t'rltlllllfll' Itt
Illllltdl l\\lu'\ or ""4"th In llli‘ ( A
((NHINHHHI

(earmarks:

Slum/«l he 00 Illk't or lay, on . harm Ii'ri
[ti-r llllt' .
4rr rryi-ri-r'il for firm In u how million.
the rill/on lr'r'l. limi- \pi-i ml t"’tlf'"lldl\.
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Io [It’llfl‘n u [’fl'lll uliir yul‘ml

figure how much they need to giye on semestcrtopay'foran educationthat is judgement on the student body. l‘m

the basis of how much less you make indeed wanted and desired.

than w hat it costs your ayerage student

opinion

simply making obscryations. and my

I can think. with minimal effort. of point is this: in many cases. it is the

students who want to be here and w ho
are serious about learning are the ones
who are forced to lease. while the ones
who are no more concerned with
education than a fish would be

 

- ‘~"'i"‘t“'rclcftot
to Me during a nine-month intery'al: met two do/en people I hate “m“m‘d “m “t “ b“) l‘ “

Approximately $2.700.

 

 

What sense does that make'.’ lhey
figure the average student needs
$2.700 to liyc for nine months. but my
measly annual income of $2.600 is too
large to qualify: Have i been

\ictimi/ed. or is this some sort of"

catch-ZZ. or both'.’

So how do you get help if you really
need it'.’ You lie y our ass off or you stop
working and let the taxpayers support
you. lhe "qualificrs"do not make oycr
$2.400 a year because they don‘t hayc
to work but because they are rcceiy ing
outside financial assistance from
home. grandparents or whatcyer.
When they go in to apply for aid they
simply be on the application. denying
any support

lhis isn‘t mere speculation on my
frustrated behalf. II is happening and
has been happening for years and
I'm getting sick of listening to it in
lunch lines and bookstores,

lo add insult to injury. it scents that
tuition is raised eyery semester. the
time giyen to pay is shortened. and the
late fee extended by $45 or so, i et's
face it. the picture isn‘t pretty forthosc
of its trying to scrape tip $400 cycry

- ~ - ~- i‘ - ' sofknowlcdvcand
encountered who are in school lorjust bounce ‘ H 'h‘ hall 1‘

about anything but learning. which
brings up the issue of "why we are
here“ in the first place. Some are here
searching for husbands (just last week
I heard one girl announce her college
goal as “Hay ing that ring on my finger
by graduation day). some are because
the government is paying them to be
here. l'hcre are some whose parents
are paying them just to get out of the
house.

On the other hand we hate people
(such as yours truly) who base the
simple desire to know and beliese in
education as an end in itself and not it
means to an end. 1 his semester marks
the beginning of my fhcliey‘c it or not
scycnth year at this university and
praise the lord it will be my last. I
hayc indeed saturated myself with this
academic scene and the workings of
our administration. l‘ye seen it all and
base ultimately decided that some of
our bureaucrats hayc cornfiakcs for
brains.

Vow. don't get me wrong. l‘m not
proud of being here oycr six years
an cyentiiality necccssitcd by lack of
funds and I‘m not trying to pass

thank dear old Dad for being so
punctual and getting that check in on
time so they didn‘t hate to stand in all
those lines.

We seem to be breeding punctual
“no-cares," l‘m reminded of those
ancient latin American tribes who
continually sacrificed their youngest
and most \irilc men to the gods. which
eycntually wrecked th hell out of their
gene pool and ultimately caused them
to breed themsclycs right out of
existence. . .so it goes. I guess

All I ask is. hey. giyc us a break; we
are trying and struggling against
terrillic odds and look. we’re
important people. Really. Might I
suggest some sort of payment plan for
those who need it‘,’ (iiye us the time to
cultiyate our potential instead oi
smothering our desire: we‘re not
asking for a rose garden. just enough
time to sprout.

lucinda Cross is a philosophy senior.

Cr

Hey.
over 01'
fish in
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time.
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Columnist Cooke on comedy

Hey. look. before you pass
over this column like a dead
fish in a punch bowl, let me
have just a few minutes of your
time. Let's start things off with
this question: If the plural of
“medium” is “media,” then the
plural of “enemy” should be
“enema," right? Cooke
uncovers another astounding
inconsistency in this astound-
ingly inconsistent language of
ours.

I know this is a bit out of line,
but there are some ugly
rumours making the rounds in
some ugly circles and I would
like to set things straight. First.
I am not involved in any
litigation over my shoes and / or
their supposed whereabouts on
Aug. 23. Second, my real name
is not Jack Hammer. Third, I
never played marimbas with
Eddie Hart and the Passion-

aires. .
Onward to the important

issues. 1 want to talk about a
subject that is near and dear to
my heart, comedy. I think lam
on safe ground when I say that
many people enjoy comedy.
Alright, I know at least three
people personally who enjoy
comedy. The only people lean
think of who really detest it are
the Firm brothers. Dorsel and
Mickey and I don‘t want to say
anything which might damage
their case, because they have
not come to trial yet. Best of
luck, guys.

Comedy is important.
Laughter is a crucial release for
many crucial things. Reminisce
with me. . .remember all those
glorious times you and your
friends shared together sitting
around the campfire just ripped
out of your mind? Remember
their bright, young faces
alighted by the amber glow of
the flames? Remember the
wieners you cooked that
looked like napalm victims?

Do you remember the
laughter?

Remember the deep. heart-
warming and sincere pleasure
you derived from humorously
relating tales of the misfortunes
of others? Remember how you
ridiculed the lineage of one of
your very closest friends and
how he, in his ignorance, took
offense?

Do you remember the
gunshots? The warm blood that
stained your shoes and left
them with a rusty odor? Do you
remember where you put the

 

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$4.00 per hour

& Hay Rides

bpen 7 days a week.
9 ‘til dark
Richmond Rd.

 

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body? It you do. drop the line
and tell me why you stole my
shoes. Next, turn yourself in to
the police so I can have my
phones connected again.

Back to comedy. . .much the
same as he feed on oil. rrtan
needs comedy to keep things
running smoothly. The
essential problem is that most
people cannot create comedy.
Most of us are ineffectuals who
can only watch the sensitive
talents thrash about our living
rooms, venting their angst in a
socially condoned form of
hysteria.

Comedy is not neccessarily
an art but a turn of mind. Some
minds are more turned than
others. While some continue to
discuss comedy as an art, there
are other aspects that pass
without mention, namely that
comedy is a dangerous and
strenuous diversion.

Think about it. Think about
how many times you’ve risked
life and limb for a few chuckles.
. .hanging out of car doors. or
windows. . .making faces at
strangers twice your size. .
.ingesting unknown sub-
stances, smearing yourslef with
creams and lotions. . .saying
things to people who might
take offense and get blood all
over your shoes. The list goes
on and on.

The comic, be he amateur or
professional. walks a thin wire
over the raging sea of injury
and humiliation. So what‘s a
mother to do? Serve her kids
Total?

I propose a proposal which
might alleviate some of the
stress of this comic existence. I
suggest that the insurance
companies come up with a
Comic Protection Policy. If
they are willing to provide life
insurance for actors. why not

provide coverage to an
important group of people who
make life more palatable for all
of us?

Just think of all the benefits!
Now. you could make an ass
out of yourself without that
knot in your stomach. No need
to fear that you will blow a line
because you are concerned
about the consequences. You
don‘t have to worry that the
bottle will break or if there
really is a gas leak. You can
yuk~yuk your way through life
with relative impunity.

Initially, the coverage would
be quite expensive but the price
would come down after the
idea caught on. There would be
certain legal problems. A
definition for comedy would
have to be put together that
would satisfy the courts. This
would require some research of
precedent but if “acts of God"
are recognized legally. “acts of

*

CHRISTIAN
SCIENCE
COELEGE
ORGANIZATION

MEETING
Thursday,
Sept. 14,21,&28
7PM

Student Center
Rm. 113

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comedy” can fit in somewhere.
I suppose that the insured
would have to carry some form
of identification and there
would have to be auditions by

the insurance company to
determine who is truly funny
instead of merely hyper.

The glorious implications of
all this are staggering. It is
something we could all use and
abuse. If you like the idea. drop
a line to your congressman. or
even your mom. Yes. a world
without comedy is like a world
without freeze-dried coffee;
and wouldn't that be
incconvenient.

See you next week, and
remember to turn in those
shoes.

John Cooke, English junior.
Is the lead guitar player of the
rock and roll band Eurmamo.
His column appears every
Thursday.

HEMUCHV

a rut mam - ”s 2H aoro

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