xt7qjq0stw4q https://exploreuk.uky.edu/dips/xt7qjq0stw4q/data/mets.xml Lexington, KY Pride Community Services Organization 198809 This collection contains newsletters produced by the Lexington, Kentucky based Pride Community Services Organization. Included are publications from the organization through multiple name changes, such as LinQ magazine (July 2013-2016); the GLSO (Gay and Lesbian Services Organization) News (August 1986-June 2013); the GSO (Gay Services Organization) newsletter (1979-July 1986). Accession number 2016ms055. newsletters  English Pride Community Services Organization Contact the Special Collections Research Center for information regarding rights and use of this collection. Pride Community Services Organization publications LGBTQ community--Kentucky LGBTQ culture LGBTQ newspapers Gay men Lesbians Bisexual people Transgender people Sexual minorities Gender identity Drag culture GLSO News, September 1988 text GLSO News, September 1988 1988 2019 true xt7qjq0stw4q section xt7qjq0stw4q Free at Selected Business Locations

Home Delivery at $5 per year

LEXINGTON GAY/LESBIAN SERVICES ORGANIZATION, P.0. BOX 11071, LEXINGTON, KY l10575

_
GLSO SERVES CENTRAL KENTUCKY GAY COMMUNITY

Lexington's Gay/Lesbian Services the caller has ever talked with about being
Organization (GLSO) is now a little over gay. Almost always this is the only person
eleven years old. During these years the who has been supportive, non-threatening,
local gay community has experienced triumphs and knowledgeable about the realities of gay
and troubles, has expanded and deepened. life. Calls such as these, when you can hear
GLSO has been a part of Lexington‘s gay the pain and loneliness in the caller's voice
history and continues to serve gay and lesbian slowly ease into relief - these are the really
needs in Central Kentucky. rewarding calls.

Communication is the key to GLSO's The Gayline is staffed completely by
success. This includes communication between volunteers. Training is provided on the last
the various gay and lesbian organizations in Sunday of each month at Comprehensive Care
Lexington, among its individuals, and with the Center at 1 pm. Volunteers are encouraged to
straight community. sign up for two, three hours shifts each

To facilitate dialogue GLSO established month. Shifts are set up so that incoming
services which can be divided into four areas calls are forwarded to the staffer's home,
of endeavor: education, referral, social and creating a convenient, comfortable setting for
recreational services. GLSO News, the the volunteer. Presently the line is staffed
monthly Forum, the Gayline, and the many Wednesday through Friday, 8 - 11 pm. If
social events all promote one or more of these more people volunteer the schedule can be
goals. expanded; women are particularly needed.

GAYLINE CLSO NEWS

GLSO's Gayline, 231-0335, has become a The monthly newsletter is another major
very important tool in providing both effort aimed at providing a link among the gay
educational and referral services. In an people of Central Kentucky. Currently 1150
average month 300 people call the Gayline. names are on the mailing list, which includes
Unfortunately only a fraction of these callers addresses throughout the US, Canada and
talk directly to a Gayline volunteer because Europe. Another 200 copies are distributed
staff shortages allow the line to be covered through Joseph-Beth Booksellers, Sqecial
just three nights per week. Media, Great Moments, Good Foods Co-Op, The

Some of the calls are fun, such as the Bar, and the Unitarian Universalist Church.
conversations with people from places as far These copies are available for those who do
away as California and Alaska. These callers not enjoy the luxury of being able to have it
are usually moving to our area or are here on delivered to their homes without fear.

a visit. In either case, it's enjoyable telling Many recipients of GLSO News who live
people about Lexington, comparing notes, and in the smaller towns in Central and Eastern
finding out about gay life in cities around the Kentucky have written commenting that the
country. newsletter is their only contact with anything

Many of the callers are more serious, in gay. Their isolation is particularly painful.
particular those struggling with the anxieties Each month the newsletter staff of ‘ll-l
of first dealing with their gayness. Often the people strives to present a variety of
Gayline staffer is one of the few persons who (continued on page N
—

 (continued from page )
Please send me a free introductory informative articles with an emphasis on Ice:
[1 issue of GLSO News and information concerns. Local, national, and Internationa-
on GLSO news is included in the belief we must all b:
. aware of decisions and activities which relat
I - . to gay issues. Whether these events occu.
D lofdéfseotoirbsp:$:ga [roorsgngieliisgfjr here in Lexington or on the other side of th:
of the GLSO News and discounts globe, somehow, sometime, they will affect our
at GLSO functions. My Membership own lives. , . . .
fee of $10/year is enclosed. Most articles report local Information. ll
order to Inform the community about upcoming
I don‘t wish to become a Member but events, and as a means of uniting the loca
D please send me the GLSO News each organizations and the thousands of gay peoplz
month. i enclose the $5 annual fee. who live m the area.
Name: FORUM
On the second Monday evening of eacl
Address' month GLSO joins Dignity/Lexington in hosting
'—-——————’——— a meeting open to all members of the gay anc
lesbian community. These meetings begin witr
- ~ , a discussion of issues recently handled by thE
City' St' le'—-—-——————— GLSO Board in an effort to maintain CiOSt
Mail to: Newsletter, P.O. Box 111171 communication With th? community, 'an'c
Lexington KY ”0575 announcements of upcommg events. This IE
' an excellent opportunity to keep up witlc
events in gay Lexington, and provides a gooc
chance to meet new people.
GLSO News is published monthly by the A group discussion follows. Topic:
Lexington Cay Services Organization, Inc. range from serious issues such as
(d.b.a. Lexington Gay/Lesbian Services discrimination, AlDS, and facets of coming
Organization), Box 11471, Lexington, KY 1&0575 out, to lighter concerns such as gay anc
Steve Savage, Editor lesbian vacation opportunities, gay characters
Craig Clere, Asst Editor, Events Calendar on TV, and lesbian humorists.
Debbie 8 Teresa, Asst Editors for Esmerelda These relaxed meetings are held in the
Aunt Mary, Advice Columnist rear, first floor conference room at
Additional Contributors: The Advocate, Comprehensive Care Center. The facility's
NGLTF, NABWMT, John Elliott, Terri, Eddie, large chairs and sofas provide a comfortable
Karen; Typists: Dave, Craig; Equipment: atmosphere. Meetings begin at 8 pm when the
Dave, Karen; Typesetting: Matt; Layout: building is empty, so there are no
Brian, Craig, Gerry; Mailing: Dave; Courier: interruptions. If the front door is locked.
Barry; Folding 8 Stuffing: Mark, Steve, push the button and enter at the buzz.
Shelby, David, Gerry, Jim, John, Steve, Newcomers are always welcome and not
Craig. pressured to take part in the discussion if
they prefer, as many new folks do, to just sit
Views or opinions expressed in GLSO News are and listen. When the meetings conclude
those of the authors and do not necessarily around 10 pm, some of us adjourn to Jerry's,
represent those of the Board of Directors. The Bar, White Mountain, for more
Submissions are welcome. All submissions conversation - especially if anyone's met
become the property of CLSO and must include someone of "special" interest at the meeting.
the full name and address of the author.
Anonymous submissions are not accepted. The ESMERELDA COLLECTIVE
editorial staff reserves the right to alter any
submissions (including advertising) to meet GLSO sponsors a women's collective,
publishing requirements. Esmerelda, which formed to meet the special
support, social, and community needs of
Central Kentucky lesbians. Esmerelda hosts
The placement of advertising in GLSO News monthly potlucks, has a team in the city
does not denote a person's sexual orientation softball league, and each month contributes a
nor a business's customer preference. [see CLSO SERVES. page It)
2 CLSO September ,

 CALENDAR OF EVENTS FOR GAY/LESBIAN COMMUNITY'S
RETURN TO WASHINGTON
from National Gay 8 Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF)

A number of cultural, political, and Tue 10/11 National Coming Out Day. A
community events are planned in Washington, nationwide mobilization to challenge
DC during the anniversary week of the March the closet and discrimination, and
on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights to raise lesbian/gay visibility.
(October 5-13, 1988). The following calendar Supported by all national
will be updated in the October issue of GLSO gay/lesbian organizations.

News. Organized by National Gay Rights

Advocates. Info: (213) 650-6200.
Lesbian 8 Gay Community Press

Wed 10/5 Names Pro'ect Press Conference. Conference/Breakfast on the G/L
Announcing Names Project events, Movement. 8 am, National Press
goals, etc. Club. Sponsored by NGLTF. Info:

Thur 10/6 Rock Concert Benefit for Names Urvashi Vaid, NGLTF.

Project. Talent to be announced. Demonstration and Civil
Capitol Centre, Landover, Disobedience Action at the Food 8
Maryland. Drug Administration (FDA).

Fri 10/7 Lesbian/Gay Community Concert to Sponsored by ACT NOW. Info: Sue
Benefit Names Project. Lisner Hyde, NGLTF.

Auditorium, Georgetown Thur 10/13 Benefit Birthday Party Gala for
University, at 730, 21st St., NW, Cleve Jones, founder of the Names
with Holly—Near, Cathy Fink, Patti Project AIDS Memorial Quilt. To
Larkin, Julia 8 Co., and others. benefit NGLTF.

Sat 10/8 Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt. Thur 10/6-Fri 10/7 National Lobby Days for
Dawn: Unfolding begins; reading Gay/Lesbian Rights. Organized
of names all day: refolded at by National Gay 8 Lesbian Task
dusk. Capital Mall. Force. Briefing, 10 am - noon,
National AIDS Activism Conference Rayburn House Office Bldg,
begins with Teach-In. Info: ACT lobbying to follow.

NOW (AIDS Coalition to Network, Info: Peri Jude Radecic, NGLTF.
Organize, and Win). Info: Scott Fri 10/7-Sun 10/9 International Gay 8 Lesbian
Sanders, (202) 2311-8001 or John Film Festival, Biograph Theater,
Fall, (213) 668-2357. 2819 M Street, N.W. Sponsored by
Candelight March from Capitol Mall Frameline and NGLTF.

to Lincoln Memorial, immediately Info: NGLTF.

following display of Quilt.

Organized by Names Project.

Sun 10/9 Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt. For information concerning all events
Dawn: Unfolding and display begin sponsored by the Names Project, or held as a
and continues until dusk. Capitol benefit for the Names Project, call (H15)
Mall. 863-5511. Call (202) 3311-61483 for information
Kennedy Center Gala Benefit for about events sponsored by NGLTF.

Names Project. The film festival will begin the evening
Interfaith Memorial Service. of the 7th and will continue all day and
National Cathedral. 6:30 pm. evening during the 8th and 9th. In addition
Sponsored by: Episcopal Caring to a Gay/Lesbian Shorts Program, and a
Response to AIDS. special AIDS Film Project, a variety of feature

Mon 10/10 National Parents Conference on length European and American gay and lesbian
AIDS. 9 am -' 4:30 pm. Crystal films will be shown. Frameline is the producer
City Sheraton. Info: Sandy of San Francisco's Lesbian 8 Gay Film
O'Rourke, Names Project. Festival, and serves as a national resource on
Demonstration at the Department of gay and lesbian film. For detailed information
Health 8 Human Services to and ticket locations, please contact NGLTF at
protest AIDS policies. Sponsored (202) 332-61183.
by ACT NOW. Info: Sue Hyde, The Names Project has made
NGLTF, or Scott Sanders, arrangements with United Airlines and A
(202) 2311-8801. (continued on page H)

GLSO September 3

 (continued from page 3)
Washington, D.C. hotel reservations service to the reservation is made through United‘s
assist in making travel arrangements with toll Convention Desk.
free 800 telephone numbers. For hotel United's Convention Discounts will be
reservations call I800) SSH-2220; the number applied to the best available fare, subject to
for reservations with United Airlines is (800) any restrictions. Your exact fare will be
521-u0u1. The Names Project will receive a guaranteed when your ticket is issue. Seats
donation from these businesses each time may be limited, so call early for the best
reservations are made through these numbers. availability. (Full MILEAGE PLUS credit is
Hotel rooms may be difficult to reserve awarded on all discounted fares.)
because the American Dental Association has First estimates of volunteer needs for
over-booked many D.C. hotels for their the Washington display indicate a need for
convention. Many of these rooms may become people to staff l4,000 five-hour shifts. in
available in coming weeks as hotels begin to addition, volunteers will be needed to help set
release the unconfirmed rooms. up on Friday, October 7 and clean up on
United Airlines is offering special Sunday evening, October 9. Volunteers are
discounts for those traveling to Washington for encouraged to sign up for as many shifts as
the Names Project Quilt display. To receive they realistically believe they can work.
5% off any applicable domestic fare from First However, we recommend volunteers sign up for
Class to Ultrasaver, or 35% off full coach fare no more than two shifts on the same day.
simply call the toll free number above and give Volunteers during Saturday and Sunday
the Names Project account number 866LIN. evening shifts will expected to help clean up.
United will mail tickets or they may be To volunteer to help with the Quilt display call
purchased from a local travel agent. Be Sure the Names Project at (“15) 863-5511.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS GLSO SERVES, continued from page 2.
section to the GLSO News called Esmerelda's
TORONTO, CANADA Parlour. Another of Esmerelda's major efforts
is the production of the monthly Coffeehouse
Toronto's board of education unanimously and Dance with the assistance of other
voted to establish a high school sex-education members of GLSO.
program designed in part to combat
homophobic bias and violence, despite strong SOCIAL EVENTS
opposition. The course, the first of its kind
in Ontario, will educate teachers, guidance Every year GLSO sponsors various social
counselors, board members, and social workers events in the hope of providing a variety of
to handle questions from students. activities for gay and lesbian people to
socialize, make new friends, enjoy each other‘s
company, possibly meet someone very special.
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA and just enjoy the freedom of being ourselves
without any pressures from the straight world.
The world's first condom bar, located in These activities include the monthly
Sydney, should sell more than 3 million Coffeehouse and Dance, an annual Derby
condoms during its first year of operation. Party, summer volleyball and potlucks at
Located inside the city's largest record store, Jacobson Park and the wintertime Rainbow
half the proceeds from the condom bar will be Bowling League. Check the monthly Calendar
donated to the AIDS Trust of Australia, which and GLSO News for a complete listing of
funds AIDS care centers, support groups, and events sponsored by GLSO and the other gay
education programs throughout Australia. and lesbian organizations in Lexington.
It GLSO September

 U.S. SENATE VOTES T0 LEGALIZE AMERICANS CONSIDER AIDS
ANTIGAY DISCRIMINATION NATION'S WORST PROBLEM
from the Wall Street Journal

On July 12, in a vote on an amendment

to the District of Columbia Appropriations bill,
the U.S. Senate limited the application of Americans now consider acquired immune
Washington, D.C.‘s gay rights law by deficiency syndrome the most serious problem
exempting religious educational institutions. facing the U.S., according to a survey
The amendment was introduced by Senator conducted for the Conference Board.
William Armstrong (R-CO) specifically to limit "The widespread media attention focusec‘
the impact of a recent legal decision requiring on the AIDS dilemma is obviously being heart:
Georgetown University to grant equal access to across the country," says Fabian Linden,
facilities and funds to its gay and lesbian executive director of the board's Consumer
student groups. Research Center.

The Georgetown case involved a nearly In January 1987, the last time a survey
eight year legal battle by gay and lesbian of problems worrying Americans was conductec
student groups at the university and its law for the board, AIDS ranked ninth while drug
school to obtain funding, formal recognition abuse was thought to be the major problem.
and access to school facilities for group In the latest survey, in July, drug abuse
meetings and functions. The lawsuit was ranked second, followed by the cost of medical
based on the D.C. Human Rights Ordinance care.
which bans discrimination on the basis of ”While AIDS has climbed rapidly as a
sexual orientation. The suit was favorably primary public concern, some other problems
resolved early this year, with Georgetown have receded," Mr. Linden said.
being ordered to grant the benefits of formal “Unemployment for instance cited as the fourth
status to the gay groups. most serious problem in 1987, now ranks much

The new amendment reads as follows: closer to the bottom of the list. This, of

course, reflects the steady improvement of the

Not withstanding any other provision of unemployment rate.”
the laws of the District of Columbia, it Regionally, pollution was though to be
shall not be an unlawful discriminatory more of a problem in the Northeast than other
practice in the District of Columbia for parts of the country, as were housing and
any educational institution that is homeless issues. Unemployment prevailed as a
affiliated with a religious organization or more serious concern to those in the Rocky
closely associated with a tenet of a Mountains and the East South Central region -
religious organization, to deny, restrict, Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama and Mississippi
abridge or condition A) use of any - than in the New England and Pacific
funds, services, faculty, or benefits, regions.

or, B) the granting of any endorsement, The survey was conducted for the

approval, or recognition to any person nonprofit industry-supported group by

or persons that are organized for or National Family Opinion lnc., Toledo, Ohio,
engaged in promoting, encouraging or which polled 5,000 U.S. households.

conducting any homosexual act, lifestyle, —

orientation or belief.

In the July 12 vote, both Kentucky CARDS 8 GAMES CHANGES SCHEDULE
senators Wendell Ford and Mitch McConnell
voted in favor of the discriminatory Karen, the host of CLSO Cards 8
legislation. Senators Lloyd Bentson (D—TX), Games, will be taking a well-deserved vacation
Dukakis' vice-presidential running mate, and in September. The next meeting of Cards 8
Robert Dole iR-KS) also voted to pass the Games will be held the second Saturday in
amendment. Among those legislators voting October. Beginning on this date Cards 8
against the amendment were Brock Adams Games will be held every 2nd and uth
(D-WA), John Chaffee iR-Rl), Alan Cranston Saturday. Previously Cards 8 Games has been
(D-CA), Daniel Inouye (D-HI), Edward held on Friday evening. Call Karen, at the
Kennedy (D-MA), John Kerry (D-MA), number listed in the GLSO News Directory, for
Barbara Mikulski (D-MA), Patrick Moynihan time and directions.

[D-NY), William Proxmire ID-WII, Lowell
Weicker [R-CT).
GLSO September 5

 SENATE JUDICIARY UNANIMOUSLY APPROVES HATE CRIME STATISTICS LEGISLATION
from National Gay 8 Lesbian Task Force
The National Gay and Lesbian Task controversy to strike the sexual orientation
Force's historic effort to enact federal provision. During consideration in the House
legislation addressing data collection on Judiciary Committee, Rep. George Gekas
anti-lesbian/gay violence moved a step closer (R—PA) introduced an amendment to strike
to passage with the Senate Judiciary "sexual orientation“ from the legislation. The
Committee's unanimous approval of S 702, the Cekas amendment failed by a vote of 22 to 11.
Hate Crime Statistics Act. NGLTF began the The Senate Judiciary Committee did not have
effort to pass the bill in January of 1987. the introduction of a similar amendment to
S_ 702, sponsored by Senator Paul Simon strike.
iD-IL), is legislation designed to collect “Our strategy was to seek unanimous
statistics on crimes motivated by prejudice consent through constituent pressure and
based on race, religion, sexual orientation and compromise." said NGLTF lobbyist Peri Jude
ethnicity. In May, the House overwhelmingly Radecic. "We worked closely with Senator
passed a similar bill, HR 3193, by a vote of Simon, Senator Hatch and the Department of
3814-30. Justice to develop language around the issue
S 702 is now referred to the full Senate of anti-lesbian/gay violence that kept everyone
for floor consideration. The Senate is not satisfied. S 702 originally included the victim
expected to take up the measure, however, categories of race, religion and ethnicity.
until September when it resumes business after The bill now includes the category of sexual
the August recess. orientation and this addition was approved by
Unlike House action, the Senate unanimous consent," continued Radecic.
Judiciary Committee was not embroiled in a
Presbyterians for Lesbian] Gay Concerns
working for support, equality and justice——
in our church, in our community, in our world-
interest in a. local group?
contact:
Jim Oxyer
PLGC
P . O - Box 7692
Louisville, KY 40207
6 CLSO September

 _— WOMEN'S WRITING COLLECTIVE FORMING
Now that Esmerelda's writing contest has
9 your creative juices flowing, a Women‘s Writer
..*’ Collective is being formed! Here's your
' , chance to share your talents. Whether you
write poetry or prose, a collective provides an
__/-Ismere1da S ParIO r opportunity for feedback and information to
1“. help you polish your skills. For more
ah information call Carol at 259-3258.
‘y IT CAN'T HAPPEN TO ME:
f VIOLENCE BETWEEN WOMEN
One of the great strengths of the
_ women's movement and the lesbian community
has been our willingness to challenge what
society says is "right," (or simply “the way
Greetings! We trust your summer things are") and show there are other ways of
continues to be both relaxing and exciting. thinking, other ways of being. One area
It's fun to see all the new relationships that lesbians have long been connected with is the
have cropped up since spring. With the heat battered women's movement. Here, straight
everyone seems to be content to stay in the women and lesbians have struggled together to
confines of air-conditioning. Those of us redefine what society and battered women
without simply have to "sleep around" to stay understand about violence; in intimate
cool. relationships. For most of us the time is long
Much activity continues in the "hotbed" past when we believe a woman who is battered
of Lexington. We've had Pride Week this "deserves" the beatings she gets from her
summer (which was a huge success.) The husband or boyfriend. Nor would we tell a
Passion Group continues to sizzle, and there's battered woman to simply try harder to take
even a writer's group starting up in town care of her partner‘s needs or play down the
(we'll let you know more about that as things significance of the trauma she experiences.
develop.) In fact, there's so much to do it Still many lesbians have held onto myths about
really surprises and bemuses Esmerelda to our own relationships, believing that while
hear that some people don't do anything there will be many problems we may gave to
because they say "there's nothing to do in deal with (chemical dependency, recovery from
this town." Oh really . . . ? sexual abuse or rape etc.) at least WE don't
For those of you who truly believe this, have to worry about being abused by our
flip to the back of the GLSO News and check lovers. Men after all, are the ones our
the Calendar section. Amazing isn't it?! society teaches to be violent, women learn only
Nearly every day there‘s something! All it how to submit. Women who love women are
takes is a phone call or two. We know simply incapable of violence toward their
sometimes it's easier to hide from new people lovers.
and strange places; all of us have felt that This myth of safety in lesbian
way at one time or another. But you only end relationships is finally beginning to crumble.
up hurting yourself. So take a chance! Go With the publication of Naming the Violence:
to a potluck, train to work the Gayline (they Speaking out about Lesbian Battering, editor
still need women volunteers), join the GLSO Kerry Lobel and her publisher, the National
Dance Committee, write an article or poem for Coalition Against Domestic Violence Lesbian
Esmerelda (she'll love you for it,) help with Task Force, begin to tell a story many of us
the GLSO News. Trust us, the possibilities already know to be true. In this landmark
are limitless. work, lesbians "come out" yet again, this time
If none of the above appeals to you, as survivors of physical, sexual and emotional
start up a group of your own - something that abuse at the hands of other women.
you find interesting and think others may too. The book contains the stories of fifteen
Why not - it's been done before! All it takes lesbians who have lived through the kind of
is you. Think about it. abusive relationships we would like to believe
Until next month. cannot happen to us. These women tell their
stories with an openness and honesty that
Teresa 8 Debbie forces us to reconsider not only the myths we
GLSO September 7

 live with but also our own relationships both despair and neediness. I had no money.
past and present. Besides learning of these It was winter in the mountains. I was
women's experiences, we learn too of their truly isolated. Through all the pain l
struggles to end the violence and of the could never believe it was as bad as it
barriers they faced within themselves, from was. I stayed because l loved her two
their abuser, and from the lesbian community. children dearly and because I had
in addition to forcing us to face the reality of promised them and her I would stay. 1
lesbian battering, Naming the Violence also could not bear to look at what I had
includes articles directed at the lesbian become and staying seemed easier than
community and at those who provide services facing the healing.
to the victims of abuse, challenging the
communities and agencies to re-examine their Finally, many of these women tell of the
own responses to battered lesbians. lack of support and shear animosity they
One theme that runs throughout this received from their ”friends" and members of
anthology is the abused lesbian's struggle to the lesbian community, when they make their
define her relationship as abusive rather than stories public and look for support for their
seeing the violence as her own fault. Blair decision to leave and search for safety from
Northwood writes: the women who have battered them. Many
write of friends who trivialized what happened
Still today when I talk about the abuse, ("oh it really wasn't that bad, was it?"l,
l have to keep myself from qualifying insisted the battered partner was at fault
the statement that "l was battered.” I ("don't you know better than to say something
want to say "She never really injured like that to her by now?") or tried to get the
me. She never really hit me. it wasn't battered woman to drop legal charges of
physical abuse.” But I was injured assault because of the emotional pain a trial
when, in my frustration over something would cause the batterer and the bad publicity
she had done, l hit the wall and the lesbian community would receive.
sprained my wrist. l was injured when These are things we fight against when
my anxiety about how to avoid her the batterer is a man. Why is out response so
temper, how to phrase a statement just different when abuse occurs in lesbian
so, how to convince her I had done couples? For example, if a woman fights back
nothing wrong, when in fact I hadn‘t, against a man who is beating her, we
turned to shortness of breath and chest understand she is protecting herself and we
pains so bad that I went to a doctor. validate her need for protection and the
The emotional strain of struggling to reality of the abuse she is fighting to escape.
maintain my self-esteem when she seemed Why is it then that even therapists, shelter
bent on convincing me i was worthless workers or friends will see the same behavior
was abuse. And it was abuse when she between lesbians as "mutually abusive."
grabbed my arms to make me go with The problem then is not just in the
her, or to prevent me from leaving the lesbian community. Other sections of the book
room until she was through yelling at address therapists and other care providers,
me. giving examples of lesbian battering being
treated differently than heterosexual
Once the woman comes to see the abuse, battering. One therapist tells of how she
there is still the struggle to leave and to accepted a lesbian couple experiencing ongoing
understand what has kept them in the abuse into couple therapy, when partners in a
relationship or so long. One lesbian writes: heterosexual couple would have been seen
individually for a time before being seen as a
I want you to understand that I stayed couple. The partners are seen individually to
with her for the same reasons any help assure the safety of the abused
woman stays with her lover - because I partner...it is after all unrealistic to expect a
honestly and deeply loved her, and was woman who is modifying her behavior to suit
honestly and deeply loved by her. her partner to be able to behave differently in
I also stayed because I had nowhere else therapy when she has to go home with the
to go. I had moved across the country abuser. Other articles discuss the need for
with her. My friends were 3000 miles “safe places” for battered lesbians both within
away. Most of my friends eventually the lesbian community and within battered
retreated, overwhelmed by my women's shelters.
defensiveness and my unwillingness to Naming the Violence dispels many myths,
look at the situation despite my chronic myths held by individual women who believe
8 GLSO September

 abuse is only hitting and cannot happen to gay male relationships also, and the same
them, myths held by lesbian communities that resources existing for women exist for men as
lesbians are somehow non-violent by nature, well.
and myths held by therapists and other The YWCA Spouse Abuse Center has a
care-givers that the needs of battered lesbians variety of services available to lesbians and
are somehow different from the needs of gay men. These are: safe shelter, 21$ hour
battered straight women. We are challenged crisis line (numbers are listed below),
as individuals, as members of a community counseling and case work, and cou'nseling for
which seeks new ways to live, and as the batterer. Other services include: legal,
professionals or volunteers who want to help hospital, advocacy, and community education.
those who are battered to re-examine our own The crisis line number in Lexington is
part in those myths. We must rethink our 255-9808, and the toll free hotline for callers
views on violence, why and how it happens, outside Lexington is 1-800-5uu-2022. We urge
who it happens to and what our response as a those needing these services to call the
community and society will be. appropriate number. There are people who
Naming the Violence: Speaking out about care and are ready and willing to listen and
Lesbian Battering can be ordered through help.
Sqecial Media OI" Joseph-Beth Booksellers. —
DEFINING ABUSE IN LESBIAN
RELATIONSHIPS
AND WHERE TO GO FOR HELP: W [fig/AN
Lesbian battering is the pattern of q
coercive behaviors used by one partner to
control or punish the other. It includes not
only physical abuse, but emotional, verbal, l
sexual, and property abuse as well.
Naming the Violence includes a list of
"Violent and Coercive Behaviors Utilized in “N
Lesbian Battering," they are:
1. Physical. Assaults with weapons, the ,
batters own body, sleep intervention, or 3’ l i' “Q '0
deprivation of food. . "o O
2. Sexual. Rape, withholding sex, ‘v ,_.I er
forced sex with others, and sexually
degrading language- _
3. Property. Damage to car, clothing,
household items, furniture, pet abuse. NATIONAL ASSOCIATION
Ll. Threats. Threats to commit physical OF
or sexual abuse, harassment,